Denied a Job Opportunity Because Interviewer Didn’t Believe I Wouldn’t Have Babies

Summary

A woman was denied a job opportunity because the female interviewer assumed she would take maternity leave due to her recent marriage, despite her clear intentions to focus on her career and not have children.

Abstract

The author recounts a discriminatory experience during a job interview where she was indirectly asked about her plans for motherhood by a female interviewer. Despite repeatedly stating her intention to prioritize her career and not have children, the interviewer's bias towards her recent marriage led to the assumption that she would soon go on maternity leave. This prejudice resulted in the author not getting the job, which she believes was partly due to her marital status and the interviewer's gender-based expectations. The incident left her feeling that her choices were not respected and that she had fewer opportunities in the workforce because of her gender. Ultimately, she pursued a career in the public sector and became self-employed, embracing her role as a guinea pig owner without regret.

Opinions

The author expresses frustration with sexism, particularly when it comes from other women in positions of power.
She feels that her integrity was questioned when the interviewer did not believe her assertion that she did not want children.
The author is critical of the assumption that marriage automatically leads to motherhood and the impact this has on women's career prospects.
She is disappointed that despite her qualifications and career aspirations, she was judged based on her marital status and perceived future family plans.
The author values her choice to remain child-free and cherishes her alternative role as a guinea pig mum.
She advocates for women's right to make their own life choices without facing discrimination in the workplace.

Spoiler — I never had babies

My guinea pigs © Susie Kearley

Never is sexism so annoying than when it comes from one of your own sex. In my case, it was a memorable incident soon after I was married. I was interviewed by a woman who asked what my plans were for the next five years.

I replied in career terms. She asked again a few times, similar questions, and I gave similar answers. Eventually, she had to explain herself more clearly. She didn’t mean that. She meant kids.

Kids were so far off my radar, and so NOT part of my life plan, it hadn’t even occurred to me that this was what she was getting at.

“We can’t afford to have people going off on maternity leave,” she said.

My heart sank. It was clear she wanted a man.

I told her that I didn’t want kids. She didn’t believe me. One of the men on the interview panel clearly sympathised with me, but it seemed this woman had more clout. There was nothing I could say or do to convince her that I wouldn’t have kids. The interview was essentially over. I’d lost.

It seems that because I was just married, in her mind there was no choice — of course I’d have kids.

I received a ‘We regret to inform you’ letter a few days later. They didn’t explain why, but I knew a major part of the reason — whether it was the only reason, I’ll never know. I imagine they employed a man, or an older lady who’d had her family already.

I never had kids.

I was 25 years old, had a few false starts, and was still trying to get a foot on the career ladder. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Now I was married?

Fast forward 23 years and I’ve given up on employers. I’m 48 and happy to be self-employed and a guinea pig mum.

But I HATE it when women judge other women like that. I knew the interview was over as soon as I realised what she thought.

I’m not a baby factory. I’m a human being with choices… but in work at least, perhaps not as many choices as I’d anticipated. Back then, I found work in the public sector instead and I never asked them for maternity leave.

Fortunately, I’m a great guinea pig mum. And I don’t regret that choice — to have guinea pigs, not children — for a second.