Dementia Has a Mind of its Own, Diversion Needed
How being creative brings life to loved ones with dementia, God knows best.
To truly love a person is to learn their song and sing it to them when they have forgotten it!
While searching through my bookcase I found this beautiful little coloring book and my spirit said to save it for my mother’s pleasure. I thought, “Really, she won’t do this”. I laid the book aside, not sure exactly what to do even though my spirit said otherwise. Days the coloring book laid before my eyes, and days I ignored it.
After days of the coloring book laying in one place, I decided to take the coloring book downstairs and pondered about how to approach my mother to color in this book. With her having dementia, I didn’t know how or the right time to approach the matter so I left the coloring book on the kitchen counter, and again for days, I ignored the book.
Finally, I decided that having a mother to color in the coloring book was a futile effort and returned the book back to the bookcase. The moment I attempted to replace the coloring book back into the bookcase, my spirit or God bade me to at least try and get mother to color in the coloring book, “what can I lose?
Well, here goes the coloring book back downstairs on the kitchen counter, and this particular day, I brought along colorful markers. This day, after mother had eaten her meal, I grabbed the book and one of the markers and began to color in the coloring book, myself as mother watched intently.
Her staring gave me hope as I pushed the coloring book toward her and asked her to try and color one flower and she did. I was blown away by her acceptance. God knew she would do it but I did not see the whole picture that God had in store for mother’s entertainment. The colorful markers were a bit dry so I bought more markers so she could proceed at another time.
Now with the new markers, as I sat next to her, I colored in the coloring book and then passed it on to her. She graciously accepted the challenge to color because all of her life she has never dismissed a challenge. It’s in her DNA.
Since her mini-stroke three years ago, she went from being dominant right-handed to dominant left-handed. To my surprise, she proceeded with her right hand to color and I noticed that her foot shook like a leaf on a tree with super bad winds blowing it.
I started to steady her foot but my spirit bade me not to that this shaking was a connection between the brain and her muscularity since she had not used her right hand in this manner for over three years.
Below is the picture she colored in different stages with my assistance and prodding because of her dementia. Never thought she would have colored in a coloring book. This goes to show that you just never know what would happen in any situation until you try.
In conclusion, listening to your spirit, mind, soul, and body reign more truth than the reasoning brain. When we listen, life falls into place as it should. God has a way of getting our attention and if we would just listen and follow, life would be a lot more enjoyable.
Mother has had dementia for many years, but she is independent in a lot of ways and has a desire to yet feel needed and included at all times. Yes, there are times, when she demands attention as she fears being alone but we constantly reassure her that we will take care of her and nothing will happen to her.
Anyone with dementia needs a lot of love and understanding, especially when those moments of uncertainty set in their brain. Dementia needs diversion before a restless state sets in. Diversion is key especially when a dementia person utters the words, “I want to go home”, which only means they are feeling insecure and scared in some manner. Much reassurance is needed at that same moment.
Lastly, hope this story encourages other caregivers on their journey while taking care of a loved one or knowing others that are taking care of someone who has dementia.
In summary, to truly love a person is to learn their song and sing it to them when they have forgotten it. Borrowed this statement from someone who took care of their parent.
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