Self-Improvement
Defining Your Core Values
Core Values are critical to goal setting, self-improvement, and professional development, but first, you must define them
Core Values are immensely important characteristics of who we are as humans. They often determine what we value as “good” and “bad” in all things we do and are a part of. They set the standards of how we behave, interact with others, and ultimately what we become in life.
The Science of People defines core values simply as the fundamental beliefs and highest priorities that drive the behavior of a person or organization. The organization piece is interesting because it is how a company can direct the actions of its people. HBR would call them deeply ingrained principles that serve as cultural cornerstones.
As important as they are, we are never taught how to define our core values. Mostly we live according to the habits and routines that drive our actions relying on defining moments to alter the course of our lives. Not only is this a poor practice for continued personal and professional development, but too much is left to chance. What if we never experience that defining moment that leads us to reach for our true potential? Sadly, this is a common occurrence as most people’s “best times” of their lives are behind them, and they are completely unshaken by the notion of drinking to those good times.
But how about the notion of always moving forward and getting better? To do this, we must first understand what matters to us so that we can take action on those things. Inspiration follows action, not the other way around. We cannot sit idly in comfort, waiting for massive change and success. Instead, we must move towards that thing with clearly defined goals and objectives. And we must start with the core values that will act like lighter fluid to the fire within us.
The 4x3 Method
I heard of this method from The Best Life Podcast, and it introduces a few new ways of identifying your core values. The basic premise is to answer a set of questions and assign a core value to each.
Answer The Following Questions
- List three things you have struggled with and overcome.
- Example: I used to be overweight but lost 60 lbs. and have kept it off for over a decade.
- Core Value: Consistency
2. List three gifts that you have (things that people say that you are good at)
- Example: I am naturally very curious and always ask a lot of questions about the way things are.
- Core Value: Curiosity
3. List three people that you admire
- Example: Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Core Value: Courage
4. List the three biggest compliments that people give you
- Example: People always notice I’m the first to arrive at meetings.
- Core Value: Punctual/Organized
Assign a Core Value to Each
The second step involves listing whatever comes to your mind when rereading your responses. For example, if you listed Martin Luther King, Jr. as someone you admire and then the first thing that comes to mind is courage, you would write that down next to your response.
List of core values for this exercise: altruism, authenticity, achievement, adventure, assertiveness, authority, autonomy, balance, beauty, boldness, bravery, compassion, challenge, citizenship, community, competency, contribution, creativity, courage, curiosity, dependability, determination, duty, empathy, fairness, faith, fame, flexibility, friendships, frugality, fun, grace, happiness, health, honesty, honor, humor, generosity, gratitude, influence, integrity, inner harmony, justice, kindness, knowledge, leadership, learning, love, loyalty, mastery, meaningful work, openness, optimism, peace, pleasure, poise, popularity, punctual, recognition, happy relationships, religion, reputation, respect, responsibility, safety, security, self-respect, self-improvement, self-reliance, service, spirituality, stability, success, status, sustainability, tolerance, trustworthiness, uniqueness, wealth, well-being, wisdom
When complete, you should have somewhere between 10–20 responses which will be the foundational core values in your life. You may also find that some of the responses are similar to others you want to include and you may adjust the list accordingly.
The Anti-Value Method
The Anti-Value Method is pretty straightforward. Think of a quality in people that you cannot stand and determine what exactly that is. Then, find the opposite core value, and it will most likely be something that matters to you.
The example I like to use is that I do not like people who are not empathetic of others. They may also be harsh and unnecessarily rude to people they do not consider important. The opposite core values that matter to me are empathy, patience, and respect.
Meaningful Moments Method
- Think of meaningful moments in your life and why they mattered to you.
- What made them meaningful to you?
- What emotions were you feeling?
- Who were you with?
- Look for themes in your responses and match them with the core values above.
2. Think of unmeaningful moments in your life and why they mattered to you.
- This process is similar to the Anti-Value Method, except you are thinking about your worst life experiences. It could be a crappy job that you had to endure with no autonomy, community, or opportunities for growth. Then, you’ll note the opposite core values that matter to you.
3. Pay attention to the stories and people that inspire you.
- You’ll often find people doing something similar to what you want. If they have a great story, try and identify the core values that led them to their success. If you admire Arnold Schwarzenegger, you may also value physical strength, tenacity, and showmanship.
4. Think about the accomplishments that make you most proud.
- If you love everything about being a parent, you’ll most likely have core values associated with that aspect of your life. Don’t try and adopt core values that you think other people value. If being a great parent is your thing, then those core values will lead you to success in your life.
5. Imagine your ideal world.
- If you could live your ideal life in a world of your liking, what would it look like? What would you do every day, and who would you be serving? What leisure activities would you be doing? These things will all come together to form aspects of things you value.
Putting It All Together
After you spend some time working on the exercises and coming up with a list of core values, the next step is to put it all together in a way that you can use to take action.
A list of core values by itself is practically meaningless unless you bring those things to light daily in pursuit of something worth having.
Prioritize Your Values
The first step is to prioritize your values by making an ordered list. The value at the top is what matters most to you and what you’ll be working on first. Not all values are equal based on the time and circumstances of your life at the moment. We are limited by time and energy, so don’t try to make every core value a priority all the time.
Set Goals
This story is part of larger series where I talk about a massively transformative purpose, goal setting, and “burn” and “I Am” statements. The ability to define your core values will inform every step of the process, which is why I started the series with this story.
The underline principle is that you should use your core values to help set goals on every tier of the goal-setting pyramid. Everything from your driving passion that sets the course of your personal and professional life to the daily action steps you’ll use to get there.
Your core values matter the most because they endure the entire process. They will be with you on day one and day 1,000. At the start and end of every journey, you’ll have your core values to reflect on and use them to inform the phase of your life once again.
Daily Practice
Like all things, your core values can be disregarded if you don’t think and reflect on them often. If you are a retired athlete, for example, you may neglect your core value of hard work while you take some time off. This can be great for a short time, but if you don’t practice your core values, they will be replaced by other less appealing characteristics. This is why people suffer midlife crises or why they seek out help; what they are doing every day is disconnected from who they are.
It may be useful to read out your core values every day or write them down in a journal. You’ll want to keep them visible and front of mind and use them to inform your current and future actions. They are a formidable weapon against the lushness of modern life, so use them often and in pursuit of what matters the most to you.
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