Defeating Giants

Have you ever fought Goliath, or at least something or someone who made you feel puny and too weak? I have been there several times in my life. I work with people who have chronic Goliaths and they feel like they are always on the battlefield fighting for their lives.

Before I continue, let me give those who may not have had a Sunday School education a little information about who Goliath is. If you already know this, then just skip to the next paragraph. Goliath was the champion of the Philistines, and a group of people at war with the Israelites. When they went on the battlefield to fight the Philistines, they were met with this giant of a man who could intimidate and defeat their warriors. As a result, the fighting men of Israel were cowering, trying to figure out how to defeat him so that they could continue to engage the Philistine army and gain a victory. Goliath was a huge stumbling block to the rest of the battle. He was eventually defeated by an unlikely hero, David. But that is another story. Today I want to focus on Goliath.

Goliaths can be an illness like cancer. I know of many brave people, young and old, who have battled cancer and won, and who are still on the battlefield fearing the giant shadow of Cancer waiting to take them out. I also know some who have been defeated by this Goliath. Goliath can be an addiction or lifestyle that is killing them. But Goliath can also fight against a system that is unjust and designed to keep you from. This last Goliath is the one I am most familiar with.

The feelings of being puny, and without strength in the face of such a big foe is overwhelming. My first brush with Goliath was when, as a newly minted Social Worker, I worked in an agency where the supervisor of my unit disliked me. Perhaps with my new Masters's degree, I was cocky and a bit of a know-it. She had been working for the agency for many years and had moved up in the ranks. She was going back to school for her Master's and looking back; I believe she was annoyed that I came on board with a salary that nearly matched hers and no experience that she could admire. In all fairness, this was not my fault, but I didn’t know the reason for her animosity. I just felt her displeasure in everything I did.

She took pains to make sure that I could not develop a relationship with my colleagues by leaving me out of get-togethers and not providing me information that would make it easier to collaborate with them. The one saving grace was that the unit secretary saw what was going on and quietly gave me words of encouragement and went around the supervisor's back to make sure I was in the loop of what was going on in the unit. Were it not for her telling me to call the police to escort me to a known crack house to remove some children, I would have naively gone in there blind. I shudder to think of what the outcome would have been.

Once the situation became untenable, I tried to move to another unit, but without her support, I found I really couldn’t. I then went and reported her harassment to the union representative. Initially, the woman I spoke to was appalled when I shared with her what had been happening. She pulled out some paper to write what I was revealing and asked questions pertaining to the situation. She gave me hope when she said that it looked like I was clearly being harassed because of some comments my supervisor had made in front of staff. My supervisor at one time implied that as I was from the Caribbean, I probably ran around naked and was accustomed to living in poor conditions so I wouldn’t know how to evaluate the poor conditions of some families I would work with. When she asked about the race of my supervisor, I shared she was like me, a Black woman. It was then that the writing stopped as the pen was put down. The union representative looked me in the eye and said that my case would have been stronger if the supervisor had been Caucasian or of a race other than mine. I didn’t see what difference it should make; the comments were offensive, and the harassment was real no matter where it was coming from.

This was my last attempt to be comfortable at that job. I just sent out my resume the next day and got another job in a different agency two weeks later. The next job was a supervisory position in a Foster Care agency. The secretary was the only one who congratulated me on my movement up in obtaining that position. I happily left but felt unsatisfied because the injustice was never addressed. This was the first Goliath that I recognized. Goliath had won, or so I felt.

There were other Goliaths and some victories, but it cannot amaze me that there are situations and systems that feel so undefeatable. I guess the reason God placed these Goliaths in my life is so that I can be empathetic with others. That cocky, know it. The newly minted social worker now knows that there are giants that can destroy you no matter your education, money, health, or wealth. When I meet clients who tell me about their giants, I am more humble. I listen; knowing that feeling of living in the shadow of something so big that it feels like it will consume you. I also know the joy of being victorious over it, and that mindset is important if you want to defeat a Goliath.

Remember David, the one who overcame the Biblical Goliath. He was one of the “least likely to succeed” heroes. He overcame it because of mindset and bravery. He had the confidence to believe he could do it and then tried with the limited resources he had. My take away from dealing with Goliaths:

· Evaluate the importance of what the Goliath is preventing you from obtaining and is it worth fighting for.

· Look at what you have is enough. It may seem little compared to the size of your Goliath, but it is something.

· Develop a strategy that takes both of the above into consideration, don’t be impulsive, be thoughtful as you approach your Goliath.

· Believe that you can defeat your giant. If David had doubted, his aim would have missed its mark.

What I felt was defeat I now appreciate for what it thought me. So maybe Goliath didn’t really win after all. I wish you success on the battlefield. Now go out there and slay your giants.