Defeat the Inner Critic, Let Go of Shame, and Embrace Self-Love

This is what my inner critic looked like, and this is how I got rid of her

I wrote about my inner critic in this article, Is Your Inner Critic Still Torturing You? I called her Shame.

When I pictured my inner critic, I saw her as a skinny bitter schoolmarm dressed in black, pointing her bony finger at me, criticizing and shaming me with a never-ending barrage of all the things I’ve done wrong, all the mistakes I’ve made, and how I was never good enough for her standards.

I learned that the inner critic was just my own voice. As a perfectionist and a highly sensitive person, I take everything personally. I pick at every flaw, and no one gets picked on more than myself.

Once I recognized the inner critic, it was easy to put a name and an image to her. I’ve had this image in my mind for several years, and thanks to the power of AI, I was able to bring it to life, so to speak.

I had a lot of fun giving Copilot these prompts, and it did a fantastic job of creating the images I described. The following pictures narrate my journey of identifying my inner critic and gaining the confidence and boldness to stand up to and silence her. The final frame shows me releasing her and granting us both freedom.

Here I grow bolder, hold my head up, and tell my inner critic to stop.

I continue to grow in confidence, from a child being scolded to an adult woman (even though I was an adult when I stood up to my inner critic, that scared and shamed little girl inside was the one calling the shots).

My next step was to release her

When I wrote, Is Your Inner Critic Still Torturing You?, I hadn’t released her. I had silenced her but still kept her around, acting as a guide or teacher. Notice how she’s there, but she’s submissive to me.

During a guided meditation, I created the image of my inner critic as a harmless black moth, and I gently let her go. As I do, she begins to break up into small pieces of stardust where she can be free.

In You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay encourages us to dig deep and identify the things that keep us from being free, loving ourselves completely, and embracing a life of abundance and prosperity. She admonishes us to be willing to release the things that hold us back or cause the need for dysfunction, disease, or lack of confidence.

I wasn’t ready to release my inner critic at the time I first wrote about her, but eventually, I did. And this is it the image I sat with as I lovingly and kindly released her.

It’s an image of freedom, kindness, relief, and love.

I can now love myself freely, believe in myself fully, and embrace the fullness of my original identity.

I no longer use shame, guilt, regret, condemnation, or self-abuse to teach me anything. I have released the need for this type of teaching represented by my bitter inner critic.

It’s your turn

What does your inner critic look like, sound like, feel like? Can you describe him, her, or it?

Can you picture how you interact with your inner critic?

What are you still holding onto that keeps you needing or wanting it to have influence in your life?

If you don’t know, simply ponder this question, ask yourself daily, journal about it, and commit to releasing it when you recognize the need.

Now picture yourself growing up and no longer needing the inner critic. Complete a ceremony in which you release your inner critic with love and set both of you free.

Mary Gallagher teaches women how to declutter so they can make room for what matters. She is the founder of The Decluttered Soul, a thriving Facebook community and membership. After decades of striving, she’s finally found her peaceful, decluttered writing space in a tiny home in the White Mountains of Arizona where the elk sleep under the Milky Way in her backyard. You can connect, stay in touch, and get support on Instagram, Pinterest, and The Decluttered Soul publication.