Death is a Reminder That Time is Finite

What are you going to do about it?

A few days after my birthday in September, I received a call. A former student of mine had committed suicide.

I didn’t know how to react. That had been the first time someone close to me had passed away. I struggled to breathe as I thought about how young she was, how she would be missing out on so many things, and most importantly, how she didn’t receive the help she needed.

At her funeral, I sat down next to a former student of mine who was friends with her. We cried together and reminisced. We talked about the jokes we’d made during after-school practice and the memories we’d built during Saturday competitions. She had a dream of traveling to Japan and playing music professionally.

She can’t experience that anymore.

As I walked out of the funeral home, I began to think about my life.

I had been suicidal in high school. At the time, no one suggested therapy or counseling.

People just told me to get over it.

As I thought about this, another thought entered my mind:

I survived.

So what am I doing with my life?

I was the first in my family to graduate high school and college since my parents came from Mexico.

I’m currently a high school history teacher and I coach the debate team.

In high school, I wanted to learn foreign languages and travel to Italy.

I’ve since done both. I learned Italian to travel to Rome, Milan, and Venice and loved the experience.

I also wanted to write.

I’ve since written several dozen articles on Medium and am working on a collection of short stories to publish soon. I also completed the first drafts of novels I began in high school.

But as I thought about what I have done, I also thought about what I haven’t done.

And why I gave up.

I abandoned my language learning after I came back from Italy. I hardly remember anything.

I told myself I wanted to travel to Italy a second time, but the pandemic happened and ruined my plans.

I abandoned my writing as teaching and coaching took up more time than I wanted it to. After all, teaching and coaching pay the bills. Writing articles and short stories don’t (at least not yet).

Even then, burnout prevents me from being creative in my writing, since teaching requires creativity to engage, entertain, and educate students. My teaching and coaching jobs consume my time after school and on weekends, leaving me minimal time to engage in my hobbies.

I started going to book fairs recently and looked at the local authors sitting across the table from me.

That could’ve been me, I thought to myself.

Instead, I remain on the customer’s side of the table, walking around and looking at everyone else’s published books.

I have yet to publish a single book in my name, let alone my pen name, for fear of being ridiculed or criticized.

Life is too short to be bitter

It took someone else’s death for me to remember that time is finite. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for me to do what I’ve been saving for later.

I remembered stories of old people on their deathbeds saying, “I wish I would’ve…”. I don’t want that to be me.

And yet, I’ve made little to no progress in achieving my goals.

Life knocked on my door again.

In December, I found out a friend of mine passed away in a car accident. She was struck by an 18-wheeler on her way home. When our mutual friend called to tell me, she said, “She’ll never get married, I won’t get to work with her again, and I won’t get to see her again.”

Hearing that reminded me of my student’s death.

This time, I need to answer it.

I made the decision that life is too short to spend at work. Yet, many of us live to work. We go to work every day to earn our paychecks. When we go home, we sit on the couch and watch TV until bedtime. We go to sleep and repeat the process daily.

Many of us don’t aspire to achieve greatness even though we have the opportunity to. Many of us settle for where we are. We don’t aim to be the best version of ourselves.

When death comes knocking, we think about the things we wish we would’ve done, not the things we did do.

No one thinks about how much they loved going to work.

No one thinks about all the TV shows they watched and how much they loved them.

But everyone thinks about what they will miss out on if they die soon.

What if death knocks on your door?

Life is too short to delay what you want to do.

If you have always wanted to travel, when do you plan to start?

There’s no point to delay traveling until you retire. By then, you’ll be too old to move, so walking, hiking, and dancing will be strenuous on your body.

You will hate loud noises and uncomfortable seats, so flying across the world will be a burden to you.

It’s best to travel while you’re young and mobile.

So why not start now?

Learning a language is a lifelong journey. If you wait until you retire, you’ll struggle to learn as a result of old age and possible dementia.

Your brain won’t function the way it did when you were young, so you’ll struggle to hold a conversation with someone in a foreign language.

If you have always wanted to open a business, when?

The older you become, the less risk you’ll want to take. If your business fails at 20, it’s easier to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, as you likely aren’t married or have kids.

It’s riskier at age 40 when you’re likely married and have kids. Or if you aren’t, you’re more likely to deal with medical conditions at 40 than at 20.

What are you waiting for?

I ask myself this even as I write this article. Fear, hesitancy, and failure are minor in comparison to the time you have left on this earth.

So why not start now in achieving your goals and dreams?