Dear Xander: The Case of the Evil Collar Disc.

Xander gives his best advice to fellow felines.

Dear Xander is an advice column for feline readers. If you have a question for Xander, please leave it in the comments and he will answer in a future column.

Dear Xander:

My human put new collars on me and Snookers, the canine I own. I don’t object to a collar in general, but these have large, heavy discs on them. Snookers doesn’t mind but it is driving me crazy. What should I do?

Collar Makes Me Crazy

Dear CMMC:

I think you need to mess with your collar and see if you can get it off. I warn you, even if you are successful, you may have to take it off a lot of times before your human pays attention. They can be kind of clueless. Anya says they are dumb.

My partner Anya has a thing against collars. A long time ago we both got brand new collars with tiny little bells and discs hanging down. The disc didn’t bother me at all.

Anya is smaller than me, though. That disc drove her crazy. It was kind of hilarious but don’t tell her that.

She kept scratching at it. She used her front paws. She used her back paws. She rubbed her neck and the collar against furniture and doorways.

One time she got lucky and the little plastic piece that fastens it popped open. The collar was off! Our human popped it back on when she got home.

This time, though, Anya knew how to get it off. It usually took more than one try but with some effort, she could pop it. After a while, our human opened the mail and there were two new collars.

Each of us got one of the new collars. I don’t know what happened to the old ones. We never saw them again.

The new collars didn’t have a disc, but I could see a design woven into the collar on Anya. I can’t see mine, but I guess it is the same. I kind of miss the disc. I used to play with it sometimes.

I have to give Anya credit for this one. Something bothered her and she found a way to change it.

Dear Xander:

My human has started shoving a hard, round thing in my mouth every morning! At first, I was able to hold it for a minute and then spit it out but now he holds my mouth open, tosses the round thing further back in my mouth and holds my mouth shut until I swallow!

After that, I always get some wet food. Hard to get excited about tuna after having a round thing shoved down your throat.

Two things:

· What are these hard, round things?

· How do I stop this from happening? It is a terrible way to start the day.

Hate the New Morning Routine

Dear HTMR:

This is terrible. I am so sorry to hear it is happening every morning. I am not sure what those things are. They sure don’t taste like treats.

I hate to tell you this, but I have never been able to successfully avoid those round things long term.

I don’t know why it is happening every morning for you. Whenever it has happened to me, it was only a few days.

Your best bet is to hide in the morning. This is really hard if your human puts out fresh food then. You will have to decide how hungry you are.

Sorry, I don’t have better news. Maybe your human will run out of the round things.

Dear Xander:

I am an only-in-the-house cat. I live alone with my human in a nice place that has lots of napping spots.

In the morning I lay on the floor in a quiet room. The sun comes in the window and it is nice and warm. After a while, my human comes home, and I join him in the room with the noisy box. There is a different window in that room with the sun coming in and I can sleep there, next to my human.

You can tell, my life is pretty sweet. Lately, though, I am having trouble getting into the litter box. My back hurts when I try to step up and in. I haven’t had trouble before. When this first happened, I had an accident outside the litter box. Now I am afraid to try to get in the box.

I found a place behind a big chair today and used that. My human made noises at me for a long time after he cleaned up the mess. He wasn’t loud, but he seemed unhappy. I am not sure what to do.

Avoiding Litter Box

Dear ALB:

I think you need to make yourself go to the litter box. If you can’t get in, just go next to it as you did before. Hopefully, your human will notice and put some paper down for you.

Once, when I was feeling bad, there was some shredded paper in my litter box. Maybe your human will put a shredded paper on the floor next to your litter box.

I hope it happens for you. I’m sorry your back hurts.

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