Dear Women Who Are Mothering — I Know Why You’re Exhausted

You tell yourself you’ll meditate, do yoga, or — find your “zen.”

Dear women who are mothering children— I know why you’re exhausted.

It’s because you are giving. It’s because you are cleaning. It’s because you are watching. It’s because you are working.

You pour your coffee every morning knowing you’ll probably never get to finish it without microwaving it five times. Someone needs you, wants you, or is talking to you. Always.

You are inevitably pulled in several different directions as the sun slowly wakes from her slumber.

Sometimes you get up early — in the darkness — just to take a hot shower or drink your coffee in peace. Sometimes you stay up way too late just so you can take a quiet breath.

I know why you are exhausted. It’s because you are worrying. It’s because you are questioning. It’s because you are confused. It’s because you are learning.

You struggle to get everyone to where they need to be on time. You often rush around like a maniac and then wonder what it’s all for.

You scold others for not doing as they were told. You sometimes cry in utter frustration because no one seems to be listening. You feel like you explain the same things over and over.

You keep trying to do what you think is the best thing. You step up to the plate, again and again, to give it another shot.

I know why you are exhausted. It’s because you are negotiating. It’s because you are planning. It’s because you are working. It’s because you are struggling.

You wake up every day telling yourself you’ll be calm. You tell yourself won’t lose your sh*t or yell and scream. You tell yourself you’ll meditate, do yoga, or — find your “zen.”

But you don’t. You get busy. You have to go somewhere, be somewhere, take someone somewhere. You get distracted. You get frustrated. You yell. And then you feel like a failure.

You sometimes compare yourself to other mothers, thinking you’ve lost the race. You think you’ve lost the race of who’s the calmest, the most organized, or the most energetic parent.

But all the other mothers are running their own race in their own minds. They have their own battles, worries, and torrential fears of failure. The other moms are exhausted too, even the ones who look flawless. Appearances can be utterly deceiving.

I know why you are exhausted. It’s because you are comparing. It’s because you are self-defeating. It’s because you’re having a bad week, day, hour, or moment.

You are a woman who is mothering. You are everything to everyone. You get tired. You get scared. You get frustrated.

Being a mother in any capacity is not for the faint-hearted.

Being exhausted does not mean you are failing at motherhood. It just means you need to rest. And it’s okay to rest.

You’re exhausted because you revolve your life around your family by planning, supporting, working, cleaning, driving, helping, hugging, kissing, mending, and bending over backward to adapt to every change, every challenge, and every choice.

You are a mother. A glorious, messy, smart, frazzled, wondrous, confused, determined mom. Nothing runs without you and you can’t run on empty.

You are also more than a mother. You’re a human being who has needs and wants. You’re a person who needs nurturing — just like everyone else.

I know why you are exhausted. And it’s really okay to allow yourself to simply sit down and REST.

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