Summary

The article is a self-reflective critique advising the author to stop emulating Emily Dickinson, improve their formatting, curb their cussing, and maintain consistency in their writing voice.

Abstract

The article, addressed as a letter to the author's self, acknowledges the writer's potential and passion but points out several areas for improvement. It humorously suggests that the writer's attempts to imitate Emily Dickinson's style, particularly writing about flies, are not as effective and may raise questions about the author's sanity and hygiene. The critique extends to the author's inconsistent and attention-seeking formatting choices, their excessive use of profanity, and the bipolar nature of their writing, which swings between extremes of tranquility and anger. The article concludes with a promise to address more of the author's writing issues in a follow-up piece.

Opinions

The author should stop writing about flies in an attempt to emulate Emily Dickinson, as it comes across as odd and detracts from the writing's effectiveness.
The writer's formatting is described as erratic and distracting, labeled as an attention-seeking tactic that doesn't serve the content well.
There is an admonition to reduce the amount of swearing in the writing, suggesting it makes the author seem less like a writer and more like a prison inmate.
The article criticizes the writer for the stark contrast in tone between articles, which reflects a lack of consistency and authenticity in their voice.
The inner critic urges the author to work on these issues to improve their writing and promises to provide further critiques in the future.

Dear Self,

Quit this shit when writing!

Dear Self,

Let's talk about your writing boo!

You got potential or at the very least passion.

Girl! Listen! The literary world would appreciate you so much more if you stopped doing these things;

Stop trying to emulate Emily Dickinson.

For the love of god stop writing about flies!

When Emily writes about flies it is poetic but when you write about them you leave everyone to question your sanity not to mention your hygiene!

Emily got the fly department covered, okay?

Unless you want to be compensated with some raid. Just stop!

Now, this weird formatting thing you do..

Why?

It seems as if you are going through your articles singing Hokey Pokey.

‘A little bold here a little quote there and then we just mix it all about.’

What is your rhyme or reason for that weirdness anyways?

You're being an attention seeker with your formatting!

Stop it you attention whore!

Not every sentence that crosses your mind is so profound you need to make it stand out.

Ok, now let us talk about all the fucking cussing.

Are you a writer or a prison inmate? Ok then start being more fucking lady-like!

Kapeesh?

Now I get your bipolar but it shows in your writing .

**Photo by Gabriel Testoni on Unsplash**

Article 223 — You are all sweetness and light and full of hope for a better future. You are entwined with your inner tranquility…

Blah! Blah!

Everyone knows you are lying you are so wound tight and keyed up to ever be able to hang with Buddha..

Photo by RepentAnd SeekChristJesus on Unsplash

Article 224 — You are suddenly cranky! Why are all men swine? You are on an angry crusade against the creepy pervert that dares to breathe your air!

So much for all that love and inner peace! Huh, sunshine?

No one is asking you to narrow down to a niche but could you narrow down your personalities there Sybil?

Take a Midol, now breathe…. you may write now.

Ok girl you are such a mess let's work on these things now then we will cover the rest of your catastrophic mistakes in another article!

From,

Your Inner Critic