Summary

The article calls on men to reevaluate the toxic masculinity associated with violence, possession of large trucks and guns, and the objectification of women, urging them to seek help for insecurities and embrace a healthier definition of manhood.

Abstract

In an open letter addressed to men, the author critiques the societal standards that equate manhood with physical strength, material possessions like big trucks and guns, and the misguided perception of women as mere accessories in a man's life. The piece references recent incidents of violence, including school shootings, to highlight the damaging impact of these stereotypes. It emphasizes that true strength lies in vulnerability, communication, and the rejection of the "dog-eats-dog" mentality that justifies violence. The author appeals to men to abandon the outdated "Captain America" ideal, seek help when hurting, and teach the next generation to resolve conflicts without resorting to guns. The article concludes with a call to action for men to recognize their intrinsic value beyond their possessions and physical attributes.

Opinions

The author suggests that men often seek to project an image of strength and virility through owning large trucks and amassing guns, which is a misguided approach to masculinity.
There is a critique of the cultural narrative that glorifies violence and the use of firearms for self-definition and protection of property.
The author expresses that guns symbolize fear rather than power and do not provide real protection or define a person's manhood.
The piece criticizes the "incel" mentality, where men blame women for their own celibacy and fail to take personal responsibility for their actions and self-improvement.
There is an appeal for men to engage in self-reflection, acknowledge their insecurities, and communicate openly instead of resorting to violence.
The article condemns the teaching of gun violence as a means of conflict resolution to children and the objectification of women.
The author encourages men to understand that their worth is not tied to their physical stature or resemblance to movie stars.
There is a direct plea to men to give up their guns and stop viewing others as mere accessories to their lives.

Dear Men

Let’s stop treating others as accessories to our lives

**Violence: Staying in a neighborhood near you!** Photo by Pablo Pereyra (2021)

Dear Man:

Yes, you! The one who is so concerned with his abs and squats, to try to be a “chad” or an “alfa.” What’s up, bro? How is life?

I have a question for you: What role do you want to fulfill? Because what I see so far is you want the world to perceive you as big and strong. Is that why you buy the biggest truck you can afford? Is it because it symbolizes your manhood? Large truck= Big private parts?

And is this why you have a closet full of guns? Is this because you identify yourself with Rambo or with some muscular guy showing up with an assault rifle to rescue women and children. Or is it to protect your property: Your truck, your 60 inch TV from Costco, and your woman. Your property. Right?

How long will it take you to realize that this is not to be a man? To learn that your guns protect you from nothing. And at this time, they are a symbol of your fear.

My apologies for the rant.

An email by Albuquerque Public Schools Superintendent Scott Elder reminded me about the fatal shooting in Washington Middle School where a thirteen-year-old student fatally shot a classmate last Friday, August 13, 2021.

I received the email when searching online for the definition of a word I did not know the meaning: incel.

I learned an incel is a male who blames women for being celibate. He does not blame his lack of effort to ask women out on dates. Or his unwillingness to read books and broaden his worldview. Of his fear to pursue his passions, like racketball or birdwatching.

While learning this from the Internet, I was informed that on Thursday, August 12, 2021, a man who calls himself an incel shot and killed five people, including his mother and a 3-year -old girl, in Plymouth, UK.

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Dear Men,

It’s time we own our shit.

Life is not a dog-eats-dog game in which if someone does not move out of your way, you have the right to react with violence.

If you are insecure about yourself, talk about it.

The reality is Hollywood will not consider casting most of us to the role of Captain America.

But we need to stop this ideal in which being a man is to own guns and trucks.

If you are hurting, seek help. Talk and listen.

We are teaching our children it is acceptable to resolve conflicts at gunpoint.

We are teaching our fellow men to kill women who do not correspond to their advances.

We need to stop now.

Dear Man,

You are more than a gun or a truck or being six-foot-four and looking like a movie star.

Dear Man,

Give up your gun. Stop treating others as accessories to your life.

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