Dear Medium Your Notification System Sucks
More Hate/Fan Mail (99% Satire, Don’t Call The Cops)
Dear Medium,
On June 22, I expressed my frustration over your shitti navigation system in a well-composed story that never received a boost (see the end of this letter for the link). You never replied. That’s ok, I can’t find anything on here either. In fact, your “upgrade” last month made it worse.
Is it wrong for me to want to read stories in chronological order sorted by topics (your fancy word for tags)? Let me womansplain — chronological means starting with the most recent stories published rather than your selected chosen ones. You took the function away. Before chronological order was at least an option, although hidden. And even that made me want to set fire to my curtains. I asked you to fix it, not nuke it. Oh forget it, it’s too hard.
Could you at least update topic stories more often? I want to devour more stories but I am bored with your offerings. The same stories over and over.
Despite the unforgivable navigation system and favouritism, I learned to love the platform. I joined the cult. You see, wonderful people started to follow me and I feel wanted. In your honour, I brainwashed Nobbinmaug to join us in world domination. I’m climbing the ranks and feel like a mini-cult leader. But jeepers-creepers I have run into BS issue number 2.
THE NOTIFICATION SYSTEM!
As a newfound cult leader, my follower count is growing — woohoo. But that means the notification system is failing because it's only useful for those with 12 followers.
Why in the fudge cakes do the markers for unread notifications disappear before I have a chance to do my thing? Are you trying to send us all around the twist? I waste so much time trying to find the messages I need to deal with — 100+ new notifications mixed with the old. What are you trying to hide?
To be fair, I give you kudos for the “responses” tab. But bloody hell when I hit the back button to return I’m taken to the main “all” tab and have to find where I am up to EVERY. BLOODY. TIME. In case you can’t tell, I’m not a happy little vegemite.
For my birthday, it’s in October, so you have time, I would love a “hit list”, or a “friend list” if you’re worried about political correctness. There are members I target, stalk if you will. The stalking is reciprocated. Why do you deny them in my “following” tab? Can you rename the tab “stalking” to better suit my habits?
My goal is to become your biggest cult leader ever! You’re hindering my output. I’m on your side. Promise. You pay me now. I fear I’m developing Stockholm Syndrome.
Yours
And for fuck’s sake. 50 claps still! My arm hurts with RSI.
I’m guessing I won't be getting that boost for a while…
