Summary

An elderly writer reflects on the ethical implications of prioritizing medical treatment for the young during the COVID-19 pandemic, expressing regret for the societal and personal legacies left to the younger generation.

Abstract

The author, considering themselves part of the elderly demographic, acknowledges the grim reality that in the face of a pandemic, finite medical resources may necessitate prioritizing the treatment of younger individuals. This perspective is presented against the backdrop of Italy's decision to stop treating elderly COVID-19 patients, a choice the writer believes will extend to other countries. The article is a poignant message to the youth, filled with apologies for not providing a better world, for not always being present, and for not conveying the message of their inherent value more clearly. The writer vows to use their remaining time to communicate their love and to order their affairs, leaving behind evidence of their affection and a plea for the younger generation to understand their worth.

Opinions

The author believes that prioritizing young lives during a pandemic is not only practical due to limited resources but also ethical, as it prevents the unnecessary death of the young.
There is a sense of regret and sorrow for the potential loss of an entire generation and the personal experiences that will be missed.
The writer expresses remorse for not creating a legacy that includes open communication, gentle discipline, and a more thoughtful approach to consumption and relationships.
They admit to personal shortcomings, such as prioritizing finances over living in the moment and not engaging enough in meaningful connections like playing board games.
The author feels that the current situation, whether through self-isolation or quarantine, may limit further communication, making it crucial to document their thoughts and feelings now.
They emphasize the value and worth of the younger generation, expressing a wish that this had been made clearer to them throughout their lives.
The writer advocates for the importance of therapy and provides resources for finding a good therapist, improving relationships, and maintaining personal well-being.

BIBLICAL-LEVEL DISEASE AND PESTILENCE

Dear Kids: I’m Probably Going to Die.

From my generation to yours: I’m sorry.

**Empty streets.** *(Image credit: Pxfuel.)*

Italy has stopped treating elderly COVID-19 victims. Hospitals there are now reserving medical treatment for young people. (Source)

Medical “ethicists” think that wouldn’t happen in other places. (Source)

Um…Yes it will. And it should. Because if you don’t prioritize saving young lives, you sentence the young to death. And that’s not the best, or most ethical, use of finite resources.

Which means that I — an “elderly” person — will probably die.

I hope I’m not being dramatic or maudlin, but rather rational. This is a pandemic, and death is a statistical probability. Within the next few weeks, much of my generation will depart this life.

But I’ve had more than half a century to prepare, so as hard as it is to say this: I’m sorry to be leaving you behind.

On behalf of my entire generation: I’m sorry to miss your triumphs, your adulting, your parenting, and your old age.

I’m sorry not to have left you a better legacy — one where we talk openly and gently about how we feel. One where we didn’t discipline harshly just because we were disciplined harshly. One where we think carefully about disposing easily of plastic and people.

I’m sorry I didn’t save more and spend less. I’m sorry we didn’t shut off screens and play board games. I’m sorry I was so worried about finances that I forgot to live in the moment.

I will connect as much as I can over the next few weeks, but since we’ll all be either self-isolating or forcibly quarantined, which will break the internet, our opportunities to connect may already be behind us.

So instead, I will write, I will record, I will order my affairs, I will try to leave some lasting evidence of my love for you.

When this is behind us — for better or worse — please hold on to the legacy I’m trying now, while I’m still healthy, to assemble for you.

You are valuable. You are beloved. You are worth dying for.

And I’m sorry I didn’t make certain that you knew this all along.

More from this writer

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The Relationship Institute uses a martial-arts metaphor to coach relationship, communication, and life skills. Visit our digital library, schedule training events, and sign up for our newsletter to receive free therapeutic advice for improving your relationships.

LauraMaery Gold, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist working with couples and parents, and writes for Relating magazine. She is also executive director of The Relationship Institute and the author of oh-so-very-many books on family concerns. When all seven of their kids became adults, she and her husband took up residence in a 400-year-old castle just outside of Paris.