Dear Justine from 2007

Welcome to college, Justine! It’s going to be a ridiculous 4.5 years. Oops — spoiler alert! You’ll end up taking an extra semester — an extra football season for the road! And just how do I know this? Well, I’m you! But ten years older and a hell of a lot wiser. And I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re an idiot. Don’t shoot the messanger! We haven’t figured out time travel yet but shooting your future self seems ill advised. You’re intelligent, strong, funny as fuck — but an idiot. I know, I know. You’re studying at the University of Florida! You even got accepted during early admission. Impressive. I’m proud of us! But when it comes to life and matters of the heart, you’re an idiot. Believe me…er, us!

I won’t ruin all of the good surprises. And I won’t even warn you about the big mistakes — yes, plural. But there are some things I’d wish I told us sooner. Firstly, take care of yourself. “Obvious” you say. I know. But guess what dummy? You kind of suck at it. Putting yourself first is not a weakness and it’s not selfish. You are a better friend, teammate, sibling, daughter and overall person when you take care of yourself. Go home before last call. Eat more veggies. Make smart choices. Stand up for yourself. Take even more naps!

Ask for help. Mom is doing great and still amazing! No surprise there. She’s taught us how to be independent, strong, and self sufficient. Maybe a touch too much. Just know it is okay to ask for help. Not just once in a while either. And not only when life feels so overwhelming that getting help is your only option. You can’t do everything on your own and you don’t have to. Plus, what could it hurt to ask? You’ll be amazed how willing and happy most people are to lend a hand when you need it.

Don’t be afraid to say “no” more. People will not love you less. They will respect you more. Set boundaries and really mean them. The people who matter stick around — having dinner with Misty tonight, Alex is kicking ass and ran a freaking marathon, and Stephanie is getting married next year! And the people who walk away? Let them. Anyone you find yourself constantly accommodating to keep in your life doesn’t need to be there.

Oh, and please stop buying crap. You have at least 13 moves ahead of you in the next 10 years. THIRTEEN. You end up happily throwing most of it away anyway. So save our back the strain and buy a book on “Minimalism”. We waited way too long to get on that train.

Try to worry less. Still got a ways to go on this one. I know it can feel like the best way to protect yourself from the chaos of life is to think of every single possible thing that might happen and try to prepare. But life has a way of working out whether you’re drowning yourself in anxiety or not. For the record, 80% of the anxieties marinading in your brain day in and out don’t ever even happen.

Stop caring what other people think. Oh, the hours! The days! The years of our life we will never get back. Here’s a little secret it takes us too long to figure out. No one cares. Seriously. People are so wrapped up in their own lives and so busy worried about what you and everyone else thinks of them that they don’t have a spare brain cell use on you. Do the things that make you happy. Fuck what other people think.

I could go on, but where’s the fun in that? You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You know right from wrong. Just trust your gut and trust me — the older, wiser, more well-adjusted you. And don’t forget to have fun! Life is one long lesson on control and the truth is, even on a good day the only thing you really have control over is your outlook and reactions. Look for the silver linings and choose to make it fun. Yes, Justine. It really is that easy.

I love you! Justine from 2017

P.S. — Avoid the oysters on New Years Eve 2013.

P.P.S. — His name is Peter and our two year anniversary is this week. And you’re really, really happy. ❤

This piece was written as part of an Art Swap collaboration, featuring original art by the talented Kayt Molina.

You can read about this collaboration and all five writer’s stories here!