Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome

Dear Imposter Syndrome, I am trying to get stuff done here. And you are really not helping.

Clouds of self-doubt and low confidence DESPITE being qualified to do the job you have been entrusted with, especially in the new environments, and new challenges are normal. It’s simply human to feel that way. Everyone feels anxious about the unknown, more than you think. Fear of being judged as incompetent feeds on our anxieties and insecurities and we don’t open up and talk about these things out loud, especially in professional environments.

But we should. So, let’s talk about it. 🙌 👍

This fear has a name: imposter syndrome. Oxford dictionary defines it as: “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.”

Explained further in Wikipedia:

Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve all they have achieved.

Feeling overwhelmed by my own imposter syndrome, last month I decided to ask my friends if they ever get affected by it. Among them were some successful startup cofounders, MIT dropouts, Stanford PhDs, AI researchers, successful product managers and engineers in big tech firms and the list goes on.

I asked them one question:

“Do you feel like an imposter sometimes?”

And the answer was a resounding YES:

• “Almost every week.”
• “Yes all the time”
• “Every once in a while. Sometimes every day”

They were from all sorts of nationalities and from different geographies. It is relevant to mention their professional backgrounds since it always seemed to me that these folks have got it all figured out. They know what they are doing and they just go ahead to do them very confidently with successful outcomes.

I was so wrong.

Knowing that even people like these who fit the criteria of “professionally successful” by society feel the syndrome so strongly, you could breathe a little to know that you are not alone. Then I went to do some simple web searches for the studies on the topic and I learned that:

• the issue is more widespread than I would have imagined, affecting even the top world leaders as much as any other.
• it affects men as much as women contrary to popular belief, mine included. I got curious about this one, so I asked the guys in my network about it, and ALL of them said they struggle with it. Someone went as far as saying: “being a man is imposter syndrome 24/7. You are supposed to be in control and confident in all situations”.
• it can be hard to break out of since people get caught in the vicious cycle which can lead to anxiety and depression in most individuals. It might look something like this: people develop a range of unhelpful coping mechanisms such as perfectionism and procrastination to combat the fear of failure and of being found out
• these coping mechanisms may lead to success and praise from others. However, this praise is not internalized because people who are perfectionists attribute their success to their hard work and high standards, and people who procrastinate attribute their success to getting lucky at the last minute. This maintains their belief that they are an imposter, and a vicious cycle begins, where they feel anxious again about being found out and engage in coping strategies to avoid failure at all costs

I am sure you will learn more about it by performing some web searches yourself. So, let me focus here on how to manage it to make your daily life a tad less anxious. 🤗

Listed below are some things based on experiences and science, that can help alleviate that feeling of being a fraud and allow you to avoid self-sabotaging behavior:

• Telling yourself it’s okay to feel this way sometimes. It helps to allow yourself moments of weakness — you are only human
• Talking to your peers and friends about how you feel, it is highly likely that they feel the same way about themselves — you are not alone
• Asking for feedback and holding on to the positive ones that contradicts your beliefs that you are an imposter — write it on sticky notes on your wall — you are qualified and you belong
• Keeping an achievement journal to remind yourself of your self-development journey — and revisiting it when you need it
• Reminding yourself that hard work is often overshadowed by luck when there is a success — so it is important to remember the efforts behind it
• Affirmations for telling yourself over and over again that you belong, that you deserve this success, that you are qualified and capable until you believe it. There’s power in words, especially the ones you use toward yourself. Use them wisely.

You can find more such resources online. But when you feel stuck in your imposter syndrome, know that I procrastinated on writing this article for more than a month because I didn’t feel qualified enough to put it down here, despite struggling with the syndrome for about a decade now. 😛

If you are struggling with anxiety in general or as a consequence of the imposter syndrome, you may use some of my ideas on how to manage your anxiety here.

I hope this article helps you understand what imposter syndrome is and how it can affect you and your productivity. I wish you take at least one action from above towards managing your imposter syndrome and the anxiety that comes with it. If you have other ways that work for you, please do share in the comments! 🙂

I write about Tech Products, Data Science, Product Management, Productivity, and Leadership.

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