Dear HR, Stop Saying We’re Family

We are anything but.

Buzzwords like “family” create cultures of toxic positivity.

A while back, a major social media company had a problem. Employees were being too nice to each other. People attended meetings all day. Yet, decisions were not being made because managers wanted everyone’s approval before moving forward with a project.

Here is the problem with being too nice.

People sugarcoat things.

They don’t tell you exactly how they feel. Rather, they beat around the bush and spew half-truths.

Our relationship is strictly transactional

Workers trade their time and skills for money. That’s it. Don’t you agree?

Companies decide wages by evaluating how difficult it will be to replace someone.

Workers with specialized skills are harder to replace. Therefore, they can command a higher salary.

The opposite is true for entry-level workers fresh out of college. They are the first ones to be let go when a company starts to go under. This is exactly what happened during the 2008 recession.

The problem with at-will employment

You can get fired at any time.

I always thought the two-week notice was hypocritical. It is considered best practice for workers to give their employers two weeks to find someone else if they decide to quit. They will come off as unprofessional if they don’t.

However, employers don’t have to do that. They can tell anyone to permanently clean their desk at any time. Sometimes, it can get dramatic.

Some fired employees are escorted out of the building by security guards. Just two hours ago, they were eating sushi with the “family.” Now, people won’t even make eye contact as they walk out the door.

I already have a family and you do too

My family is at home. I’ve known them my whole life. I don’t like mixing my private and professional lives. Frankly, I don’t care what my colleagues did over the weekend. It’s none of my business. I don’t care if little Johnny had soccer practice or if little Katie is taking dance classes.

One time, someone started referring me as their work husband. They were married. I was grossed out. I asked them to stop. I’m glad they did.

What we are instead

“Shopify is a team, not a family.”

This was what Tobias Lutke said in a company email. Lutke is the CEO of Shopify, one of Canada’s most valuable companies. What Lutke said rippled across the entire business world. I agree with what he said.

Teams work under a common mission. Team members complement each other’s skillsets so that they can complete projects and work closer to achieving this mission.

What happens when one person is not pulling his or her weight? It affects the entire team. Morale goes down and everyone becomes less productive.

The underperformer has two options. They can either make improvements or leave the company.

This is why “team” is a better word to use than “family.” Teams are fluid entities. Families? Not so much.