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e-zulfiqar">Jade Zulfiqar</a>)</figcaption></figure>Her favorite spot, other than my blanket, was under the crown side of the bed. The place is warm during winter, cool in summer, and dimly lit with a lot of cartons and baskets; the perfect place for my shy baby to rest, dine, and hide.<figure id="4f16"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*ZrbTmlE08tdDlLUDFItSXw.jpeg"><figcaption>She was done with lights, camera, and props; and decided to hide herself. (Image by <a href="https://medium.com/@jade-zulfiqar">Jade Zulfiqar</a>)</figcaption></figure>People used to call her an aggressive and non-friendly cat, but they didn’t know how much love I received from her. She was there for me during my hardest times; she was my companion during those 5 AM outbursts; she would come out for cuddles and belly rubs when my heart ached due to unknown reasons. All she knew was to give love to the ones around her when they needed it the most.<figure id="3a01"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*1SlHN6PkY_0ZEJCnI0kpHA.png"><figcaption>Her two sleeping postures. (Image by <a href="https://medium.com/@jade-zulfiqar">Jade Zulfiqar</a>)</figcaption></figure>Yes, she was picky when it came to humans or other cats; yes, she felt scared when there were too many people around; yes, she would panic in front of strangers; and yes, she didn't want other cats to enter her room. But she was also the one who adopted two abandoned kittens and took care of them better than their own moms did. She was the one who shared her food with other cats. She was a ball made of fur and love.<figure id="eb11">

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<img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*lHZ_wootAJMUHM0RgtnGDA.png"><figcaption>Noni with her adopted babies (Image by <a href="https://medium.com/@jade-zulfiqar">Jade Zulfiqar</a>)</figcaption></figure>Today, as we sat and chatted on her bed, we heard a faint cry coming from under us. My heart sank as I found her lying there, her lifeless blue eye staring into nothingness, while the green one semi-closed. She chose her favorite spot to silently take her last breaths. Noni, my girl, who lived with grace and died with grace.Two years passed by In the blink of an eye The gift that was sent from the heavens was snatched back within seconds.Where did her soul go How do I find her Does she live among the flowers or around me, in the air.How does her paradise look? Is it different than mine? If I chose to live in hers please God, is that fine?Who is there to bathe her? Does she get food on time? And if she wants to sleep Do the angels sing her rhymes?Just for one last time I wish to feel her warmth And then keep her for eternity Close to my heart![In loving memory of Noni, (July 1, 2021 — August 9, 2023) From, Her human, Jade.]I glance at the clock; it is still lying. Tiredly shifting my gaze, I spot a lonely star in the vast sky, with a faint glow. I smile at her, and she shines back at me!(I really do not want to discuss the circumstances which led to her passing. It is already painful as it is.)</article></body>

Losing a child

Dear God, Let Me Live in Her Paradise

A memento for my furball who has become the most distant star.

I look at the clock; it tells me that just 3 hours have passed. LIAR! I have lived 769 days during this time. I lived yesterday, last week, forgotten months, and the past two years and the clock is telling me it’s been just 3 hours. THE AUDACITY TO LIE TO MY FACE!

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**July 1, 2021**, **The day God sent Noni to me (Image by Jade Zulfiqar)**

I still feel the warmth of her silky white fur from the day I held her in my hands for the first time; July 1st, 2021. It was love at first sight. She made her way to my heart in the blink of an eye, kneaded the rock-hard organ into a soft pulp, and marked her territory with her scent. ‘You are my human for the rest of your life,’ she said, and I happily obliged. No one else was going to enter there anyway!

**[October 29, 2021] I loved to do her photoshoots; she was such a darling after all. (Image by Jade Zulfiqar)**

Her favorite spot, other than my blanket, was under the crown side of the bed. The place is warm during winter, cool in summer, and dimly lit with a lot of cartons and baskets; the perfect place for my shy baby to rest, dine, and hide.

**She was done with lights, camera, and props; and decided to hide herself. (Image by Jade Zulfiqar)**

People used to call her an aggressive and non-friendly cat, but they didn’t know how much love I received from her. She was there for me during my hardest times; she was my companion during those 5 AM outbursts; she would come out for cuddles and belly rubs when my heart ached due to unknown reasons. All she knew was to give love to the ones around her when they needed it the most.

**Her two sleeping postures. (Image by Jade Zulfiqar)**

Yes, she was picky when it came to humans or other cats; yes, she felt scared when there were too many people around; yes, she would panic in front of strangers; and yes, she didn't want other cats to enter her room. But she was also the one who adopted two abandoned kittens and took care of them better than their own moms did. She was the one who shared her food with other cats. She was a ball made of fur and love.

**Noni with her adopted babies (Image by Jade Zulfiqar)**

Today, as we sat and chatted on her bed, we heard a faint cry coming from under us. My heart sank as I found her lying there, her lifeless blue eye staring into nothingness, while the green one semi-closed. She chose her favorite spot to silently take her last breaths. Noni, my girl, who lived with grace and died with grace.

Two years passed by In the blink of an eye The gift that was sent from the heavens was snatched back within seconds.

Where did her soul go How do I find her Does she live among the flowers or around me, in the air.

How does her paradise look? Is it different than mine? If I chose to live in hers please God, is that fine?

Who is there to bathe her? Does she get food on time? And if she wants to sleep Do the angels sing her rhymes?

Just for one last time I wish to feel her warmth And then keep her for eternity Close to my heart!

[In loving memory of Noni, (July 1, 2021 — August 9, 2023) From, Her human, Jade.]

I glance at the clock; it is still lying. Tiredly shifting my gaze, I spot a lonely star in the vast sky, with a faint glow. I smile at her, and she shines back at me!

(I really do not want to discuss the circumstances which led to her passing. It is already painful as it is.)