POETRY

Dear Child

A letter from my conscience

By the cruel hands of others, you suffered but I didn’t permit your soul to be corrupted It was my arms, into which you fell on that wretched day all those years ago your body trembling, your head pressed to the floor, so frightened, so low

A baby sparrow, pushed too soon from your nest wings ripped before you learned to fly. A mourning dove filled with unrest Your seeds of hope could never be sown in any place you had ever seen or known

Each night I cradled your heart in my hands I rocked you in arms of solace and led your mind to understand I sang to you a lullaby, a sweet reminder that time will pass I covered your essence in a cleansing bath

I was the soft pillow upon which you fell until your anguish healed I set you free from all that tried to bind your warmth and zeal I was your arrow shooting towards a clear road ahead I was the softness that made sleep sweet upon your bed

It was I, who led you, a compass to guide you through the night I was your hope that led you to the light. I was your sense of wrong and right

Sometimes traumatic events are beyond our control. Sometimes the only solace is in knowing there was nothing we could’ve done differently to prevent the event from occurring.

As a childhood victim of assault, I went through a cycle of healing. When I worked past a stage of self-blame, I was able to recognize that it wasn’t my fault.

Knowing I did what was best for the moment and arriving at the truth on my own terms and in my own timing, was a great consolation to me. Acceptance can help build a path to healing from trauma.

Ultimately, I released my mind from further suffering by offering forgiveness to my attackers. I did it for me. I decided not to give them anymore of my time or energy. I consider it a miracle that I hold no bitterness. I don’t pretend to understand why. My mind was freed long ago, but my attackers continued to suffer immense guilt for many years afterwards.

This poem was about the freedom of a clean conscience. The cover photo symbolizes the cleansing that takes place during healing. A healed person arises as a free bird no longer restrained by the limitations of old false beliefs.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Thank you to the editors of ILLUMINATION for giving this piece a home.

Mia Verita, 2021