Facebook WTFs

You did NOT just say that!

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I live in a quaint neighbourhood in a big city.

It’s a leafy, friendly community of about 17,000 people with your classic neighbourhood perks — parks, baseball diamonds, a cute library, great schools, and a low crime rate.

But this family-friendly facade has a (not so secret) dark side.

The Community Facebook group.

It’s an evil, dark-web-kind-of-space where your anonymity gives you the right to mix your Stepford Wife creepiness with your Judge Wapner slander all in the name of keeping the neighbourhood safe from dubious activity.

The themes are your mostly classic neighbourhood ones:

• the dislike of fireworks
• reports of cars being burglarized
• lost cats
• Nicky Nicky Nine Door hoodlums
• teens drinking in back alleys
• graffiti
• pedestrians vs cyclists vs drivers
• construction variances

The vitriol these comments induce, though, (and I’m talking 100+ comments per post), are mind-blowing.

“Lost your cat? How could you be so stupid as to let your cat outside?”

Cyclist worried about their safety? “I have no remorse when a cyclist gets hit.” (can’t make this stuff up)

“Your car got burglarized? Why would you leave your car unlocked?” (helpful and judgy rolled into one)

Teens drinking in alleys “Whose kids are these? Their parents are obviously negligent a**holes.”

“In my day …”

“Someone walked on my flowers! Call 311! Call the police!”

“Why are YOU even commenting, you live one block outside our neighborhood?” (please hold my drink while I shudder even harder)

“Do you have a camera outside your house? Post a picture of the perpetrator!”

(Someone posts a picture of a perpetrator), “that’s public shaming!”

Then there was the well-known local restaurant owner who, (in hopefully a drunken moment), told someone to, “eat me!”

I’m no business owner but I’m guessing that’s not part of a sound marketing plan.

But if I had to crown the winner for the most surreal and mind-blowing post, it would have to be what I refer to as, “the dead deer selfie.”

A neighbourhood woman was driving on a local road at night and her headlights picked up the body of a deer lying in distress on the ground. She stopped her car and called the police and the Humane Society. She then proceeded to lie down with the deer and cradle it.

As someone who loves animals, I appreciate that she wanted to calm and console the deer as it struggled.

When the police arrived, they did a quick examination and decided that the most humane thing to do was to euthanize the animal. It was a truly sad story.

What is bizarre though, is that before the police arrived, the woman decided to take selfies with the dying deer. She fixed her hair, made pouty lips, and TOOK SELFIES. She then posted them on the neighborhood Facebook page.

This was a case when the page members were supportive and positive with their comments. There was no bullying or name calling. There was adulation and flattery.

The woman was absolutely to be praised for her care for the animal.

But to bring it back to the land of, what the actual fuuuu … She. Took. Selfies. With. A. Dying. Animal.

Not even the Kardashians have come up with this angle. (And y’all know they’ve provided us with all kinds of “angles.”)

I don’t want to judge or demonize this caring woman.

But I do want to question what people often think is appropriate to post on social media.

(And I also like to do some extra head shaking cause it probably burns calories, so there’s also that.)

Perhaps you belong to a community Facebook page.

They’re sites where you can judge.

You can be judged.

Or you can post selfies with dying animals.

(and don’t even get me started on the woman asking what the abbreviation SOLD meant on a “for sale” post.)