De-Feeting Fear: The Toothless Lion With a Big Roar That Can’t Run

How you can run toward the roar and not away from it.

Nope. I didn’t misspell it. I meant de-feet and not defeat — as in cut off the feet of fear. Freedom never tasted so good.

Will you never be challenged by fear again? Yes…of course, you will!

Challenged, not defeated. I spelled it the way I meant it this time.

An Old African Proverb Paints The Picture

It’s the story of a herd of antelope that were grazing peacefully. Then suddenly, they heard the mighty roar of an old Lion. Frightened, they bolted in chorus away from the thundering roar — right into a pride of young, strong lions.

The old King of the Jungle was past his prime. He couldn’t move nor run nearly as quickly as his prey. The young lions had circled the antelope in the opposite direction of the old Lion. The moral: If the antelope had run toward the roar, they would not have been devoured.

Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it. — Judy Blume

How To Overcome (or De-Feet) Fear Is Our Reality

It’s not a matter of never fearing again. It’s a matter of understanding and gaining control of our renegade emotions when they approach us.

Most fears and anxious mindsets are based on the slippery slope of faulty future imaginations.

It’s accurately estimated that 85% of the things we fear, worry over, or are anxious about never come to pass.

Side Note: There is a helpful category of what may be labeled fear. We can learn to worry better.

But, the focus of this story is about crippling destructive fear instead of letting it cripple us. Let’s focus on some workable solutions next:

• Stay in the present time: Anxiety is a future-oriented mentality. So, says Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., “Instead of worrying about what will happen in the future, “reel yourself back to the present.” Consider the following questions:

What’s going on right now? Am I safe? Is there anything more I need to do right now? If not, make an “appointment” with yourself to revisit your concerns later in the day so those far-off possibilities don’t begin to deceive you.

It’s not initially easy. If you’re often shaken by worries and fears, you have a well-developed habit that needs to be rewritten in your mind.

The good news is it has been well-established that, because of neuroplasticity, everyone has the ability to re-write their inner story.

• Dragnet yourself. (Just the facts ma’am) People who have anxiety are frequently preoccupied with the worst-case scenarios. Consider how likely they may actually occur — honestly. Consider the scenario of being anxious about a job interview.

Rather than saying, “I’m worried I’m going to bomb,” consider this: “I’m nervous, but I’ve done my homework. Some things will go well, and some won’t, but that’s okay. That’s realistic.”

When you continuously address your worries, whether positive or negative, you are teaching your brain to find a logical approach to deal with them.

• Pay attention to your breathing. Deep breathing reduces stress. You don’t have to worry about counting out a specific number of breaths while you’re learning about specific breathing exercises.

Instead, concentrate on inhaling and exhaling evenly. This will assist you in slowing down and returning your thoughts to their normal state.

• Practice the 3–3–3 Principle. Take a look around you and describe three things you notice. Name three sounds you hear. Move three sections of your body: your ankle, hand, or arm.

This mental trick can assist you to focus your mind and returning it to the present moment when your brain feels like it’s flipping out at 120 miles per hour.

• Reach out to a lifeline. “An excellent way to reduce tension is to call or text a friend or family member and talk about your concerns. Interestingly, stating our fears aloud to someone else often helps us see them in perspective. Writing down your anxieties can also be beneficial.

Side Note: Talking to someone about our fears is NOT beneficial IF we state them with the intensity that we believe what we’re saying. Instead, frame the words with the phrase, “I’m feeling like…what do you think?” Stating what we feel like, cushions our minds. Stating something as a fact (especially with the energy of fear) has a much tighter grip on our emotions.

The above are just a few tools that will de-feet our fears.

Remember the African Proverb. Despite the frightening sound of the old Lion’s roar, he is toothless and full of arthritis. He is de-feet-able…by YOU!