The Tinder Swindler and Another Dating Scam Story

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They froze my account in an American territory for a $30 purchase and I had the travel update placed on my account. None of my white colleagues had a problem. As a matter of fact, most Black people have a problem using our cards in the United States — they would have definitely frozen our accounts with that much activity abroad.The Tinder Swindler movie focused on the Swindler’s 3 European victims, but the movie alluded to him having victims worldwide — including the United States.Black women have infamous dating scammers, too. They are either a rich, “Prince” from an African country or a military soldier abroad. Their story or MO is always the same: their wife died and they’re so lonely — some have kids others don’t. My friends and I have been approached by online dating scammers countless time since the internet started with chatrooms and listservs. And don’t get me started on Craigslist’s dating section.One time, I thought I was being scammed, but I ended up meeting a really nice, Nigerian guy who wined and dined me and sent me expensive gifts and flowers. He never asked for anything in return. It was a long-distance relationship and he invited me to his home many times, but I didn’t feel comfortable because he always had family or friends visiting.I must confess, I almost fell for a scammer pretending to be a really cute US soldier abroad. He almost got me until I caught on to his calling pattern, time difference lie and the background noise. He claimed he was in a European country, but he always had a bad connection and it sounded like he was calling from a call center. I

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laughed when he started hinting about needing money. He got angry, mumbled something and hung up.That’s when things got weird — he called back from a different number, apologized, and acted like he was crying. He claimed to give me his real name and said this was his job. He said he didn’t have much time, because he was calling from his personal phone. He went on to say that he answered an ad that offered him money and a place to stay. He said they took his passport and he had to meet a quota to eventually leave.He said this company used pictures of American and European military men and targeted American women on dating sites because we send money. He claims he could get in trouble, but he had to confess because he started falling for me and asked could he call me using his real name.He said he’d been to the US before and planned to visit in a few months. I was too creeped out — so I blocked him on email and phone. He kept trying to contact me for a few days, he even got aggressive at the end, but I continued to ignore him. I couldn’t believe I almost fell for it.That was almost 6–7 years ago.I’m a little older and wiser now — so my chances of getting my heart broken and ego bruised are higher than getting swindled. The bottom line is — if the person seems too good to be true — they are. If you’re lonely — keep chatting but proceed with caution and don’t send anyone money that you don’t know.The story and song are true — “money can’t buy you love” and even if it could — it shouldn’t.Thank you for reading.</article></body>

The dark side of online dating

I was working on this article before I heard of the Tinder Swindler, but I just watched it and it was crazy. Oddly enough nothing surprised me — but it showed some cultural dating differences. It’s not like Black or other women of color don’t get scammed — we do, and they started preying on us as soon as the internet started, too. Yet, I’ve just never heard of a Black woman getting scammed at this magnitude. The women in the movie talked about getting Amex and other credit cards with huge credit limits, increases and loans ranging from 10–50K. One woman racked up $250,000 in debt.

I know this sounds crazy, but this is one of the few times bank discrimination works in our favor. The average Black woman with excellent credit and 6-figure income still doesn’t have generational wealth or access to large credit lines like our white and European counterparts. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of financially secure Black women, but the average Black woman wouldn’t have received a second “emergency” credit increase and they most certainly wouldn’t have been able to get multiple credit cards with such high credit limits in that short period of time…

They froze my account in an American territory for a $30 purchase and I had the travel update placed on my account. None of my white colleagues had a problem. As a matter of fact, most Black people have a problem using our cards in the United States — they would have definitely frozen our accounts with that much activity abroad.

The Tinder Swindler movie focused on the Swindler’s 3 European victims, but the movie alluded to him having victims worldwide — including the United States.

Black women have infamous dating scammers, too. They are either a rich, “Prince” from an African country or a military soldier abroad. Their story or MO is always the same: their wife died and they’re so lonely — some have kids others don’t. My friends and I have been approached by online dating scammers countless time since the internet started with chatrooms and listservs. And don’t get me started on Craigslist’s dating section.

One time, I thought I was being scammed, but I ended up meeting a really nice, Nigerian guy who wined and dined me and sent me expensive gifts and flowers. He never asked for anything in return. It was a long-distance relationship and he invited me to his home many times, but I didn’t feel comfortable because he always had family or friends visiting.

I must confess, I almost fell for a scammer pretending to be a really cute US soldier abroad. He almost got me until I caught on to his calling pattern, time difference lie and the background noise. He claimed he was in a European country, but he always had a bad connection and it sounded like he was calling from a call center. I laughed when he started hinting about needing money. He got angry, mumbled something and hung up.

That’s when things got weird — he called back from a different number, apologized, and acted like he was crying. He claimed to give me his real name and said this was his job. He said he didn’t have much time, because he was calling from his personal phone. He went on to say that he answered an ad that offered him money and a place to stay. He said they took his passport and he had to meet a quota to eventually leave.

He said this company used pictures of American and European military men and targeted American women on dating sites because we send money. He claims he could get in trouble, but he had to confess because he started falling for me and asked could he call me using his real name.

He said he’d been to the US before and planned to visit in a few months. I was too creeped out — so I blocked him on email and phone. He kept trying to contact me for a few days, he even got aggressive at the end, but I continued to ignore him. I couldn’t believe I almost fell for it.

That was almost 6–7 years ago.

I’m a little older and wiser now — so my chances of getting my heart broken and ego bruised are higher than getting swindled. The bottom line is — if the person seems too good to be true — they are. If you’re lonely — keep chatting but proceed with caution and don’t send anyone money that you don’t know.

The story and song are true — “money can’t buy you love” and even if it could — it shouldn’t.

Thank you for reading.