Dating Online, But Don’t Want Kids?

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance for individuals who do not want children to clearly state their preference on dating profiles to find compatible partners.

Abstract

In the realm of online dating, individuals who are certain they do not want children face challenges in finding like-minded partners due to the limited options provided by dating apps and websites for expressing this preference. The article advises the childfree community to conduct thorough research when selecting a dating site, ensuring that it not only meets their general dating needs but also allows them to prominently display their stance on parenthood. It suggests that if a site's profile options do not adequately convey one's decision to remain childfree, it should be explicitly stated in the personal description. This transparency is crucial to avoid wasting time with incompatible matches and to find a partner who shares the same life values.

Opinions

The author believes that the choice to be childfree is a significant aspect of one's identity and should be as visible as other key attributes on a dating profile.
There is a sentiment that while the childfree community is growing, it is still underrepresented on many dating platforms, which often give minimal attention to this life choice.
The article implies that a well-designed dating profile should prioritize stating one's intention about having children to ensure compatibility with potential partners.
It is suggested that individuals who are serious about finding a childfree partner should not rely solely on the standard profile questions but should also actively communicate their stance on parenthood.
The author acknowledges the common dislike of writing about oneself but stresses the importance of including basic personal traits and the decision not to have children in one's dating profile.

Shout it from your laptop

Image created by author in Canva

If you’re dating and know you want children, you hardly need to lift a finger on most dating apps or websites. But if you’re 3,000% positive you don’t want kids, things may get a little trickier.

When completing your profile, the “kid question” is usually a drop-down menu item or a multiple-choice question. These queries provide details about you that a potential mate should know — deal makers or deal breakers like physical traits, location, and sexual orientation.

And, of course, there’s the obligatory family question. Have/don’t have kids? Want/don’t want kids?

The number of childfree folks is growing, but we’re still a minority. So, while some online dating sites take our life choice seriously by providing the right questions, others pay this life-altering decision minimal lip service, if at all.

So, my childfree single-and-looking brethren, be diligent when selecting a site. Do your research.

Can you navigate the site easily?

Do you see yourself meeting decent people?

Will the site meet all your internet dating desires?

If you just nodded three times, great! But if it still doesn’t ask the “to-child-or-not-to-child” question, manually add that to your description. Why?

Your choice to be childfree is too important not to be seen by a potential life partner. It’s just that simple.

If that drop-down doesn’t let you say some version of “I don’t have kids and don’t want them,” plaster your intentions to the top of your written description. If you’re as serious as I am about not bringing more people into this world for whatever reason (and there are many), you’ll make it the first thing other mate-seekers read.

You don’t have to say why, but you do need to say it.

But I don’t like writing about myself.

Yeah, you and 7 billion other earthlings. It doesn’t have to be Pulitzer material. Basic personality traits and a few likes/dislikes will do.

Childfreedom is like any other trait that helps define who you are. And any partner-to-be deserves to know at the outset. The last thing an online dater (or anyone) wants is to waste time.

Don’t let a badly-designed website control how the dating world sees you. If you’re serious about finding another childfree single, you’ll make it known.

Good luck!

If you enjoyed this article, consider subscribing to Medium for access to more from me and other writers. I’ll get a portion of your membership fee when you join from my Referral Page.