Dating Apps Suck. Artificial Intelligence Will Make It Worse
In some weird twist of technology and sadism, the internet has decided to take upon itself the cheerful task of daily swiping at my singlehood, by constantly pointing me to successful dating stories, which has both annoyed and amused me in equal parts.
But it recently pointed me to this interview about Bumble’s new CEO which irritated me beyond measure.
They’re planning to introduce artificial intelligence…. but for what exactly? To make the app generate better matches? Suspicious. To help you be safer? Bloody hell no.
Here’s what Lidiane said about artificial intelligence. “Over the last 10 years, we’ve developed a lot of AI and technology that safeguards behavior in the app, and we can tune the models to reflect our values and safety guidelines. But we want to take it even further. A huge part of Bumble’s DNA is advocating for policies that will ensure women feel safe, and we want to be at the forefront of not only driving great technology development, but also policy advocacy for safety online”
I tested this theory.
I used a picture that was not me. The woman had similar enough features and body type to be me, only difference? She was wearing a thinly cropped t-shirt. There was no notification to take down the photo.
So clearly Lidiane, a bunch of horseshit.
But oh boy did I get a whole bunch of messages. Being scantily clad obviously generated more interest- that is no surprise. But what was surprising was the disrespect I received. When you can hide behind a screen and potentially cockroach, ghost, breadcrumb- guess what you will do? You will love bomb and ….disrespect.
I was talked to as though I wasn’t entitled to having a normal conversation about me as a person if I showed my abs. Conversations got sexual…pretty fast. Even though, I had stated that I was seeking a relationship. There is no amount of AI that will fix the inherent biases that human beings will have.
And that is my problem with dating apps. You can plaster and paper over all the holes in these apps with as much artificial intelligence you want, but ultimately what it inevitably delays is the other AI…..Artificial Intimacy. How will dating apps solve this problem?
So, you don’t like bumble? Oh no problem — go to Hinge. Another useless app. Hinge has a feature called standouts. This puts the most attractive people with varied interests and who you actually might want to date, behind a paywall. Give them a rose and you get on top of their pile. Basically, its high-school with a paid popularity contest.
On Feb 24th, Match.com was sued because they were thought to encourage compulsive addictive behavior. To this, Match.com said “This lawsuit is ridiculous and has zero merit,” Match said. “Our business model is not based on advertising or engagement metrics. We actively strive to get people on dates every day and off our apps. Anyone who states anything else doesn’t understand the purpose and mission of our entire industry”
To this, I say to Match.com- yes I really don’t understand the purpose and mission of your entire industry. I think it shouldn’t exist. Do people find their better halves on the apps? Yes. But it’s a crapshoot. The world has figured out how to game greed, lust and desire. But when you decide to game the most beautiful emotion of all, love, nothing is left sacred and everything feels opportunistic. And that is what dating apps make me feel.
So now I have deleted all dating apps and stuck to the old-fashioned way of doing activities I enjoy and trying to come to peace with my singlehood.