Dating Abroad: the Orange Necklace Man
When in Bali…
If you’ve been to Bali, you probably know about Sand Bar. If you haven’t been — let me paint you a picture.
Bali is an interesting place with specific groups of people.
- digital nomads starting up (or settled into) their remote work
- surfers boys and girls trying to catch some waves
- yogis finding themselves
- and, of course, the kind locals
There are some others sprinkled in, too; like the random families on vacation and people like me on a girls’ trip.
When the sun starts to set, the majority of these people gather in beanbags at Sand Bar by the beach to sip on cheap cocktails and watch the breathtaking sunset.
After the sun sets, people venture off for dinner or what have you — then, Sand Bar becomes the meet-back-up-spot for pretty much everyone in Bali, as far as I’m concerned. We did this most nights of our two-week time in Bali. One specific night led me to The Orange Necklace Man.
Girls Night Begins
I started girls’ night with my dear friend and travel partner Natalie at a quaint kitchen and bar enjoying a tasty fish dinner and sangria.
Following our fancy dinner, we went to the ‘pre-game’ spot — Old Man’s Bar. We played games and sipped some really cheap wine. And, what do you know, by the time we finished that really cheap wine, we were feeling it. Let me just mention that wine (unless you scope it out really hard and pay a whole lot) in South East Asia is pretty low quality.
Once the wine really starting kicking it, we knew it was Sand Bar-thirty.
Oh, Sand Bar
We made our way over to the beach to enjoy some tunes and dancing in the sand with all the locals and people of Bali. Because, as I said, if you’re in Bali past 10 PM, then there’s a very high chance you are at Sand Bar.
Natalie and I were dancing, mingling, and enjoying some beers when all of a sudden my eyes met the eyes of a blonde, longer-haired man with gorgeous blue eyes. It was like one of those moments I had read about in books. We gazed at one another for a few moments before he made his way over.
Orange Necklace Man
Blondie and I started chatting it up immediately. Natalie was in her own magical world dancing away still. He and I went to grab a drink together. I drank a beer, he didn’t — more on this later. We returned to Natalie and her new friends when she whispered to me, “Hey, what about that necklace though?” “Oh, the one with an actual orange pinned to it? I don’t know maybe he’s going to need a snack later.”
See, the thing is, I see no reason not to accept people for who they are and see what they’re all about. It’s one thing I really wish everyone did. We all have weird quirks. Every single one of us. His quirk happened to be that he wore a piece of fruit attached to his necklace. This seemed extra acceptable since I was a sangria and a couple of glasses of cheap wine deep. So, I proceeded to enjoy my evening listening to the band, dancing, and getting to know my new love interest.
Sushi Burrito Night-Cap
The sushi burrito food truck outside of Sand Bar is one of my top favorite things about Bali (there are tons of favorites).
After Sand Bar, and before heading to our accommodation, we stopped at the delicious food truck for a bite before heading home. Orange Necklace Man joined and so did a couple of friends Natalie met at Sand Bar. We all continued chatting and enjoying our night-cap snack.
Let’s just say that Orange Necklace Man wasn’t into sushi burritos or making new friends. Top on his agenda for the night was confessing his love to me. This quickly turned me off. I had only known this man for about a couple of hours if that, how did he love me? And, it wasn’t due to too many drinks on his part. Remember that beer I had earlier and he didn’t? I later learned that he was sober and didn’t drink alcohol.
I quickly informed him that while I enjoyed his company, he seemed like an interesting person, etc. that our feelings were not mutual. I, in fact, did not love him back.
Can’t Take No For an Answer
Our fun night out pretty quickly turned into a creepy night out. A little scary, too.
Boys, listen up — when a girl says no, that’s it. Zero buts about it. Whatever they’re saying no to, that’s it. Same for girls. Same for anyone. If someone says no, that means no. Even if you don’t like it, it still means no.
Orange Necklace Man did not understand this. Or maybe he did and didn’t care.
As I was enjoying my spectacular sushi burrito and getting to know Bali locals, Orange Necklace Man thought it was appropriate to wrap his arm around me, whisper gross nothings, etc. I told him to stop. My friend, Natalie, told him to stop. Our new friends told him to stop. I moved away from him. He followed.
Monsta came out. Monsta is Natalie’s alter ego when intoxicated. I love Natalie but I really adore Monsta. Monsta got very stern and pretty sassy with Orange Necklace Man explaining to him why when someone adamantly tells him to stop touching her and moves away that he doesn’t have a choice but to listen. This man had the audacity to start shouting at her telling her that it was her fault I was no longer interested. He continued to shout about how she would regret breaking up the special connection we had formed (in about 2 hours of knowing each other, okay?) and that she was a terrible friend.
Then, the Bali locals stepped in telling him to leave.
That romance novel I was reading earlier was now a creepy, scary movie.
The shouting and chasing continued for about half an hour. For some unknown reason, he thought the best route to take for sweeping me off my feet was to continue raising his voice at everyone about how they were breaking up something really extraordinary and telling me insistently that I definitely wanted to keep spending time with him. He was painfully wrong.
Moral of the Story
After making our way back to our accommodation just right down the street, we locked ourselves inside praying that he wouldn’t find us and eventually fell asleep. We woke up safe and sound laughing the next morning about the behaviors that people seem to think are acceptable. The thing was, while it was happening, it was not funny at all.
Now, I still try to remember that we are all humans with weird quirks and most people deserve a chance. However, if I meet another person wearing an orange necklace, there’s a very high probability that I will quickly run the other direction.
Oh, the adventures of dating abroad…
