Dark Psychology in Dating
How to know if you’re in danger of becoming the next victim.
Have you ever met someone who will step on others, and seem capable of doing anything to get ahead? Have you ever dated someone like this? I have a friend whose ex-partner is capable of saying or doing anything to get his way. And I mean anything. Some of the stories I’ve heard about this person have literally frightened me.
Dark psychology is the use of manipulation, exploitation, coercion and deception to prosper, succeed, or get what one wants.
The Dark Triad
Someone who uses dark psychology could have a set of personality traits called the Dark Triad. This refers to a trio of negative personality traits created in 2002 by Paulhus and Williams.
- Psychopathy-a personality trait marked by a complete lack of empathy and conscience.
- Narcissism-an over-inflated sense of self-importance and constant need to be the centre of attention. Someone with narcissism may also lack empathy and view others as inferior.
- Machiavellianism-highly manipulative behaviour using deception and coercion for selfish beneficial reasons. Psychology Today also suggests that Machiavellianism can sometimes be associated with high intelligence. This can be even more dangerous for the receiver.
Dark psychology tactics by Dr. Jason Jones
- Love Flooding or denial When the manipulator wants their way, they will flood you with love and affection, and if they don’t get their way they will withdraw and withhold affection.
- Coercive control This would be a highly controlling method including withholding money or freedom, controlling and monitoring their partner’s every move, insults and isolation from a support network.
- Choice Restriction Providing specific options to distract from another option.
- Fatigue Inducement This form of manipulation wears the victim down until they give in or surrender. One glaring example of this would be date rape.
- Reverse Psychology This is the method of convincing someone to do one thing with the intention of that someone doing the opposite.
- Semantic Manipulation The manipulator agrees to something using specific words, then retracts later stating those specific words hold a different meaning. This would be a game of semantics.
The Dark Triad in dating
Someone who exhibits dark triad features would be very well dressed or provocatively dressed, polished and attractive. The one thing they’re not good at however is fidelity and loyalty in a relationship. They tend to have many sexual partners and will, according to Psychology Today, often lure someone out of a relationship to be with them. Another sign is short-term relationships. Definitely not someone you want to settle down with.
Those who fit the Dark Triad are ‘masters of flattery’. They will emit an illusion that you are lucky to be in their presence. They carry about certain confidence and expectations.
The Dark Triad partner will exploit people to get ahead, and wouldn’t feel guilt or remorse for doing so. When things don’t go as planned they can become aggressive and hostile.
The one who fits the Dark Triad profile will often not understand emotions. It will almost seem like a foreign concept to them. They are known to have emotional deficiencies. The Dark Triad personality also tends to be quite low on the moral scale. They don’t empathize with others and would have no problems committing acts of malfeasance.
Psychology Today tells us to take the Dark Triad personality seriously as it can become dangerous. They suggest not engaging in any sort of friendship or relationship with them. Psychology Today quotes “They violate social norms and moral values and lie, deceive, cheat, steal, and bully.”
I don’t know about you… but that sounds pretty ominous and dark to me.
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