Damn You, Tim Denning!
It’s time I address the Tim Denning thing.
You see, I had a dream last night about Tim Denning, superstar writer and blogger. It might have been a nightmare. I’m not sure; I don’t remember.
I know Tim Denning
Not. At. All.
Never met him.
Never spoken to him.
All I know is that I want to. The man is a master. He’s a prolific writer with truly wonderful advice and instruction that he artfully shares with the world through sites like Medium and his own blog.
I’ve probably bookmarked over 40 stories he’s written. I try to read at least one per day, more if I can find the time. Denning is a mystery to me. And I’m Sherlock Holmes, searching for the key to unlock that mystery.
Denning has become, well, my hero. Maybe I mean my anti-hero. You see, I want to be Tim Denning.
In truth, I’ve zeroed in on every single writer I can find who admits that he/she earns several thousand dollars a month simply by writing. Oh, I don’t think they’re lying! I know that they’re telling the truth. It’s just…I long to be in their group. But, dammit…I want to do it my way.
I admit it. I’m a sloppy starter.
There are instructions to read about getting curated on Medium?
Yes, well, my writing will bust apart those instructions. They aren’t meant for me.
I should familiarize myself with necessary terminology?
What’s to know? You write, you read, you edit. Then, you read some more and edit some more. Keep doing this until it’s perfect. Then, you publish. There. So much for terminology.
I need to know about SEO (whatever that is) and other such rot?
Listen, buddy. Once people read what I have to offer, they will be begging me to write more, to have exclusive rights, to partner with me as I take over the world. They’ll whoop and clap as I surpass Tim Denning in all things Internet (you capitalize Internet, right?).
Because I adore Tim Denning, I have daydreams that, in the future, maybe he’ll bookmark my articles so that he can learn a thing or two.
Those nightmares when I sleep…who knows what they’re about.
The above piece is a humorous take on my thoughts as I familiarize myself with foreign things like Medium and blogs (hey, I’m almost 60 years old — it’s like I’m a baby). It’s obviously written with deep respect and admiration for Tim Denning. His accomplishments are ones that I can only hope to successfully emulate one day. Knowing me, I’ll start trying to emulate around the time I get my fill of failure.
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I’d be so grateful if you’d clap up to 50 times for this humorous essay. Also, please click HERE to read more of my writing. If you follow me, you can subscribe to my publications! Feel free to leave a much-appreciated tip if my words move or enlighten you in some way as I work hard to become a writer extraordinaire. I can’t thank you enough!