Daily Recriminations

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Abstract

n the planet, nice alliteration though)</li><li>If your country is so great, then why are we so far ahead in mass shootings, incarcerations, and COVID19 cases? (This one MAY backfire but charge on anyway.) Obviously written from an American perspective but easily adoptable by others. Just change up a few words to fit your local situation.</li><li>How dare you criticize my carbon footprint? My carbon footprint will kick your gas-guzzling ass. (More of a threat really but the “gas-guzzling” slam adds a subtle recriminatory note.)</li><li>My momma’s fat? Your momma’s so fat that social distancing with her involves using a different zip code. (“Your momma” + the timeliness of “SD,” this one is sure to end up on the “100,000,000,000 best quotes of all time” webpage.)</li><li>I’ll match your fake news and raise you a big lie that would make the Nazi propaganda machine blush. (You figure out who would find this one useful.)</li><li>My mind is full of brilliant ideas. (WTF! How did this nonsense slip in here?)</li><li>Call me a dummy will ya?! You’re so dumb that there’s a special book for you. It’s called “Dumbness for Even the Dumbest of Dummies for Dumm

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ies.”</li><li>Facts, don’t confuse me with facts. Your facts can go fact themselves from here to factville and back you fact-filled fool. (More of a short rant but I’m throwing it in here because I can and you can’t do anything about it. na, na, na, na, na)</li><li>Whatever you can do I can do better. Just watch me be louder, more boorish, more condescending (that’s talking down to people if you don’t know) and divisive. (More of an insult but with a recriminatory flare. Besides who’s writing this thing you you-are-not-writing-this-thing-I-am nitwit.)</li></ol><p id="6071">And that’s it. 30!</p><p id="57f1">Who are you to say what 30 is? I’ll decide what 30 is. What’s wrong with you? Do you actually think that words have meanings and transmit messages that people hear, take in, process and are affected by?</p><figure id="e452"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*7EIP2X3m8wrAbNdJ"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@vote4jose?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Jose M.</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Daily Recriminations

You think my momma’s fat, well your momma’s so fat that …

Recriminations noun — retaliatory accusations

With all the horseshit out there about the benefits of meditation, mindfulness and daily affirmations I think it’s time for a dose of reality, daily recriminations. Besides they’re so much more appropriate for today’s political and societal climate (talk about global “warming”).

And we’re off.

A full month’s worth, so you can all leave me the heck alone for 30 days you greedy bastards.

You think I suck! Well you suck so bad you inhaled your mask!

The “Chinese Virus” huh? How about the Short-sighted Stateside Stupidity Scourge (can only be used by 1.4 billion people on the planet, nice alliteration though)

If your country is so great, then why are we so far ahead in mass shootings, incarcerations, and COVID19 cases? (This one MAY backfire but charge on anyway.) Obviously written from an American perspective but easily adoptable by others. Just change up a few words to fit your local situation.

How dare you criticize my carbon footprint? My carbon footprint will kick your gas-guzzling ass. (More of a threat really but the “gas-guzzling” slam adds a subtle recriminatory note.)

My momma’s fat? Your momma’s so fat that social distancing with her involves using a different zip code. (“Your momma” + the timeliness of “SD,” this one is sure to end up on the “100,000,000,000 best quotes of all time” webpage.)

I’ll match your fake news and raise you a big lie that would make the Nazi propaganda machine blush. (You figure out who would find this one useful.)

My mind is full of brilliant ideas. (WTF! How did this nonsense slip in here?)

Call me a dummy will ya?! You’re so dumb that there’s a special book for you. It’s called “Dumbness for Even the Dumbest of Dummies for Dummies.”

Facts, don’t confuse me with facts. Your facts can go fact themselves from here to factville and back you fact-filled fool. (More of a short rant but I’m throwing it in here because I can and you can’t do anything about it. na, na, na, na, na)

Whatever you can do I can do better. Just watch me be louder, more boorish, more condescending (that’s talking down to people if you don’t know) and divisive. (More of an insult but with a recriminatory flare. Besides who’s writing this thing you you-are-not-writing-this-thing-I-am nitwit.)

And that’s it. 30!

Who are you to say what 30 is? I’ll decide what 30 is. What’s wrong with you? Do you actually think that words have meanings and transmit messages that people hear, take in, process and are affected by?