[Daddy Diary] A Father’s Guilt: Balancing Seriousness and Playfulness in Parenting

On a typical morning, my kids had already finished breakfast and were playing in the living room. As I sat down for my own breakfast before heading to work, my son approached me with an unexpected question,

“Daddy, what kind of sea creatures do you like?”

Since we had never discussed sea creatures before, I sought clarification, asking,

“Sea creatures?”

To which my son replied,

“Yes!”

Puzzled by his sudden interest, I decided to respond anyway, delivering a half-joking, half-serious answer,

“Buddy, I like salmon!”

This choice was driven by my genuine appreciation for salmon cuisine. However, I soon realized it might not be the response he was looking for, as he hadn’t inquired about seafoods specifically. Curious, he asked,

“What is salmon?”

I explained,

“It is a type of fish. What sea creatures do you like?”

He listed,

“I like sharks, blue whales, blah, blah.”

Intrigued, my wife and I probed further, asking if he liked other sea creatures such as seahorses, jellyfish, turtles, etc. Our conversation extended for quite some time before I eventually left for work.

While the corporate office is undoubtedly the optimal work environment, free from the distractions often associated with working from home, my mind lingered on the morning conversation with my son. I realized that it was because my lack of seriousness during our interaction contrasted with my son’s genuine curiosity. While there were no correct answers to his question about my preferred sea creatures, my response of ‘Salmon’ didn’t align with his intention. If I took his question seriously, I would respond, like, “I like jellyfish because they are beautiful when observed in museums.” as this kind of answer is more likely to spark his curiosity and encourage him to explore further.

Despite my half-joking remark, my son remained unaware, maintaining his seriousness throughout our conversation. As I posed questions about his favorite sea creatures, he earnestly contemplated and responded. The reason behind his sudden interest in sea creatures still remains unknown to me, but I couldn’t shake off a lingering sense of guilt for not taking the conversation more seriously, despite being aware that children can introduce any topic at any moment.

While it was fortunate that my son didn’t perceive my lack of seriousness and could still engage in a meaningful conversation from his perspective, I acknowledged the need to reflect on my attitude. Although I consistently communicate with my son, I vowed to resist the temptation to inject jokes into serious conversations with children and strive for more meaningful interactions next time.