D4, The Day Having Your Age Becomes Too Old
The day you met your expiration date.
To my fellow 50 or 60-year-olds, this article is for you. But before you, those at a younger age should take a moment to read it because, believe it or not, that day will come.
Let me explain that I’ve suddenly become too old to do something I’ve been doing for the last 50 years. Once or twice a week, I go to the grocery market and buy whatever we need at home, such as milk, eggs, bread, and ham.
Then I take my recyclable bag (since I care for the earth’s future) and place all the items in it to take home. However, after several financial problems this month, I decided to go to my local HEB and ask what the requirements are for being a grocery packer in their store.
Yes, those fellows you try to avoid when they ask if they can help you and then tip them some money with the excuse you don’t have a spare change. Or maybe a couple of coins or even a dollar if they did their job well.
Today, I went to have a work interview with the person in charge of the job, and to my surprise, I was told I was too old; they only hire people 65 years of age or less.
At first, I was shocked. They told me I couldn’t do something I do at least twice a week. But as I walked two more blocks to Walmart, since I’m sure I would never buy anything from that malicious HEB.
I started to wonder what is time anyway.
What Is Time
Suddenly, I realized that I was philosophizing about time. We use it every day. We lose it, Waist it, and always seem to need more. And in the end, even we run out of it.
Let’s remember that time is just an imaginary line one Homo sapiens invented to explain to his wife where he’d been when he returned without the diner.
At that moment, that intellectual came up with an imaginary line to explain that he’d been outside for hours looking for food, instead of using our unique ability as males to shut our brains off and think about nothing.
Something any male cohabitating with a female knows is something beyond their over-expressed and multitasking brain.
Hence, time was created, and that black line (at least as I imagined it) was born, deciding whatever we did before with what is happening now. Unfortunately, our underdeveloped brain didn’t consider what the super-active female brain would do with it. HIS WOMAN INVENTED THE FUTURE¡.
Imagine so many things she could tell us to do later. Take the garbage, clean our room, wash the dishes/laundry, fix the doorstep, change a lightbulb, etc., etc., without telling us WHEN THEY WANTED US TO DO IT.¡
Therefore, they create the most potent weapon in a relationship for their future offspring. To this day, no male knows how to cope with this situation.
Time through time
Through centuries, humans have been obsessed with this imaginary line. We invented the most sophisticated accessories to measure how much time has passed and what and where things will happen through calendars, paper, electronic diaries, and computers.
Every generation had its time masterpieces, pocket watches for the early gentleman,and there is a controversy over who invented the pocket watch. On one hand some say it was in 1775 Abraham-Louis Breguet, others argue It was Louis Cartier who developed the brand’s first wristwatch in 1904 at the request of pioneering Brazilian aviator Alberto Santos-Dumont.
However, almost everyone now uses one, except for the younger generations, who traded the wristwatch for the new pocket watch version, now called the cellphone.
We are a species obsessed with time and its passing. Initially, knowing when someone had to wake up and go to bed was good enough. However, now we check every fraction of an hour while waiting for our ride.
Every generation is obsessed with time. Children wish to become teenagers but can’t wait to turn 18, get their driver’s license, turn 21, and buy some beer. Women in their early 20s fear turning 30; later, we fear turning 40 until we reach our 50s. Then, our expiration date, the terrible 65, comes, and you’ll become obsolete for many companies.
Nevertheless, my fellow readers, let me tell you that that date will come sooner or later. So, instead of fearing the dreadful expiration date, change your point of view. Leave your cellular and digital camera aside and enjoy the beautiful colors of nature.
Don’t take millions of selfies eating ice cream to post on your social network; enjoy the same ice cone with an old friend from school, and remember those crazy things you did in your youth.
Take away
To my 50 and over readers, take a moment to look at the old desk drawer, for your AARP in the USA. Old Age Security (OAS) Identification Card if you’re Canadian, an INAPALM card from Mexico, or your Senior Travel Cards and Discounts in Europe. And put it somewhere you can see it daily.
It’s going to be your reminder that you bet the odds. You came ahead of the millions of young men who died in the war, or by drugs such as fentanyl, or while DUI. You are one of the lucky 17% winners of the dead lottery in the United States.
Every day, you look at the card and remember that you’re not only older, wiser, and with some extra wrinkles but also a handsome old chap.
And to you, the rest of those younger than us, who think that it is not fair for you to pay for our benefits, SCREW YOU.
If it weren’t for our generations, you wouldn’t have a car, fly your private plane, be chickenpox-free, use a computer, or know how to code a single line of text. And how about using your silly Air book (Developed by a man born in 1955), having social data, taking your stupid selfie on your cellular phone, or heating your meal in a microwave oven?
Because, my dear friends, every one of those things was created by people over 60. So, instead of complaining about older adults, I propose to start an international movement against 60+ discrimination.
Please take your time to comment. I’ll be glad to answer.
“Old people deserves a medal, a medal of existence which crowns their long-term victory against the cruelty of time and the dangers of this chaotic universe!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan
© Copyright Jose Luis Ontanon, 2024