US Congressional Hearing Confirms UFOs Are Real But Everything is Fine

How is this not the story of the century?

Some years back, a reliable, skeptical, friend saw an unidentified flying object near Toronto. In his own words:

‘While doing a fieId-call with a colleague we pulled up to a stop sign at a T-intersection on the outskirts of the city. In front of me was a farm and I could see a large black box-like object hovering above a field behind and to the right of a barn. It was hard to gauge size because we couldn’t tell how far away it was.

We turned left from the stop sign which moved the object from being directly in front of us, to being on our right. As we drove forward the barn obscured our view of the object. I continued to look for it as my friend drove, but as we continued past the point where it should have become visible again (i.e. clear of the barn), it became obvious that the object was no longer there.

Although my colleague was driving, he also saw exactly the same thing and was likewise without any reasonable (i.e. non-X Files) explanation.”

No cattle mutilation or anal probing, but an intriguing story nevertheless. When he first told me, I asked what he thought it might have been. “I don’t know. Something normal, I guess.”

And that’s the apparent take from the public on the UFO revelations coming out of the United States recently.

Last Tuesday, May 17, the US Congress held its first open hearing on UFOs since 1969 (when participants presumably pronounced them “groovy” and took another hit of acid). Two serious-faced Pentagon officials answered questions on UFOs, rebranded less sexily but more accurately as UAPs, or Unidentified Aerial Phenomena.

The hearing came almost a year after the release of Preliminary Assessment: Unidentified Aerial Phenomena by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. The nine-page document was the most open admission to date that there are strange things in the sky and that the US government is at least a little worried about them.

For the truest of believers, this week’s dog and pony show was disappointing. Besides a new blink-and-you’ll-miss-it video taken from a Navy jet of what appears to be a round metallic object moving at high speed, nothing new was added to the earlier report.

Deputy Director of Naval Intelligence Scot Bray reiterated that no crashed saucers have been recovered, and no aliens have tried to communicate with us. To maximize dullness, Bray noted that while some cases are unresolved, no incidents can be confirmed as being neither manmade or natural. And because the military doesn't want to go public with the technology they use to detect threats, there was little detail on specific UAP cases.

Still, some interesting tidbits emerged from the generally sophoric proceedings — for example, that there have been at least eleven documented near misses between UAPs and aircraft. And more importantly, Bray confirmed the conclusions provided in the 2021 assessment: that there are eighteen cases where UAPs “appeared to remain stationary in winds aloft, move against the wind, maneuver abruptly, or move at considerable speed, without discernable means of propulsion.”

How is this not the biggest story of the decade, if not of all time?

Think about it.

Known aircraft, natural phenomena, and defective sensors can’t account for that kind of behaviour. While the information is conveyed in an appropriately skeptical bureaucratic tone, the meat of the thing is that there are material objects flying around under intelligent control, and humans aren’t intelligently controlling them. If the phenomena were attributable to the US they wouldn’t be calling attention to it, and there’s zero evidence that the Russians,Chinese, or anyone else has such advanced technology.

Which leaves us with non-human intelligence or a billionaire supervillain. And with the latter all invested in more conventional space exploration, there’s really only one possibility left. Whether the intelligence comes from space or another dimension or the dumpster behind Burger King doesn’t make much difference; what matters is that we’re not the only, and for damn sure not the smartest, kids on the block anymore.

“Something normal”, indeed. The tin foil hats were right all along.