Cyberbullying—A Form of Abuse that Often Goes Unchecked

Sometimes the internet’s influence can be more harmful than parents realize.

I recently read a news report about a girl who ended her life due to cyberbullying. When anybody is driven to that degree of distress it is unutterably tragic, but it’s especially heartbreaking when it happens to a child. Given that the influence of the internet can occasionally be overlooked by parents, identifying and preventing cyberbullying can be a tough challenge.

Though not nearly as extreme as what others endure, I myself experienced a lighter form of cyberbullying. I was born with quite a large mole on my face (now removed) and, as innocuous as that may sound, the constant teasing I endured caused me much more distress than my fellow pupils realized. Being a class clown with plenty of friends, I believe most of them, if they indeed cared, assumed I could take it. It eventually got to the point where a few classmates made a website dedicated to “the mole” (don’t worry, the humor isn’t entirely lost on me). Needless to say I never told my mother about it.

Did this count as cyberbullying? I’m not sure. I just saw it as par for the course: an uncomfortable but ultimately manageable part of being a teenager with a large facial birthmark. However, this was my first brush with some of the more harmful aspects of the internet. After all, it’s bad enough having your entire being reduced to an innate biological trait, but having it immortalized on the World Wide Web is certainly adding salt to the wound.

That said, my experience pales in comparison to the abuse many young people across the globe are subjected to. Comparitach conducted a survey of 1000 parents and found that 60% of parents with children aged 14 –18 reported them being cyberbullied. Furthermore, despite the internet often being touted as a panacea for the pandemic, this study found that “Attitudes regarding the pandemic and lockdowns directly contributed to cyberbullying”:

According to another study by L1GHT, a company that specializes in AI that is designed to detect and filter toxic content to protect children, online toxicity and cyberbullying on social media sites and video conferencing apps increased by up to 70% (pdf) due to the pandemic. This included a sharp rise in toxicity and bullying directed at Asians.

One of the saddest aspects of cyberbullying is that the victim’s parent(s) or guardian(s) are often unaware it’s even happening. For children to have to shoulder such mistreatment alone, without proper support, is something that shouldn’t be left unchecked.

Today, we cannot avoid the fact the internet dominates our lives. We use it for work, entertainment, education, socializing — all without a second thought. In a sense, the greatest technological achievement of the modern age is a manifestation of the total sum of humanity: the good, the bad, and everything in-between. Sometimes even the best of us can fail to notice how pernicious its effects can be.

Scroll down any comment thread on Facebook, YouTube, or Reddit, and it won’t take long before you find yourself in the midst of a heated argument. Egos flare, nasty insults are traded, and you have no guarantee if there is even a person behind the words. Add this to the fact that humans are neurologically wired to seek out drama, contributing to its perpetuation. This study from the Royal Society Open Science found that:

“…compared to subjects who watch an emotionally neutral film, subjects who watch an emotionally arousing film have increased pain thresholds and an increased sense of group bonding.”

Though the study pertained to watching drama, it makes sense that these effects could easily be transposed to social media. Humans are quick to suspend disbelief for the sake of a narrative. The fact we can become engrossed in the plot of a book or film, without seeing it purely in terms of its construction, is clear evidence of this. So when it comes to the internet, we have long since been conditioned to make the mental jump; to subconsciously fashion an identity out of the limited information at our disposal.

Unlike a film or book, however, we are active participants in the social space of the internet. Though the form of communication may seem glaringly inadequate, the emotions victims feel when entangled in this mess are very real. They can experience just as much pain, anger, frustration, and despair over words and images on a screen as they do over anything outside digital space — perhaps even more.

To understand an aspect of the psychology of a cyberbully, think about most cases of road rage. When the driver feels safe in their car, they can hurl insults with wild abandon, saying things they would never dream of saying to someone face-to-face. Cyberbullying is similar. Often, the feeling of anonymity and lack of repercussions will embolden the persecutor. Because of this, the abuse the victim suffers can often be a lot worse, and is exacerbated by the dissociative element; being unable to truly sense their persecutor.

Though there may be a tendency to judge bullies, we must be careful not to dehumanize them. It is completely understandable for parents to feel protective of their children, and, as a consequence, struggle to empathize with their child’s persecutors. To do so could take a near-superhuman feat of self-control. But we must bear in mind that bullies are themselves often the victims of abuse, and as this study shows, have most likely experienced violence at home.

I am not a parent. Far be it from me to advise those who are. But some parents may not be particularly tech-savvy, and for whom cyberbullying can slip through the cracks in their awareness. For all of us, the internet moves at such a speed it can be difficult to keep abreast of its influence.

Fortunately, there now exists many useful resources on this issue, how to prevent it, as well as provide support for its victims. If you are interested and want to find out more, the Unicef Website has a page dedicated to cyberbullying. Let’s continue to raise awareness about this deceptive form of abuse. Nobody should suffer in silence, and everybody is entitled to the support they deserve.

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