“Cuties” Simply Showed Us a Mirror — We Flipped Coz We Didn’t Like the Image

Should we break the mirror, or fix the issue it reflected?

I’d read a ton about the controversy that surrounded the French drama Cuties which has gotten more than its fair share of attention — but mostly for the wrong reasons.

So before forming any opinions and passing my own judgment on it, I decided to spend time watching it. The good part is that it is a foreign language movie for me so I could watch it at 1.5x on Netflix because subtitles work just fine even at a slightly faster speed.

As I’d expected, clearly, most of the people going up in arms against the movie, and not just its inappropriate Netflix poster depiction, didn’t really care to watch it or understand the intent behind it.

The whole issue started with the Netflix poster which seems to sell the movie as something that sexualizes young girls, and hence got huge criticism for it. However, Netflix did own up to their mistake and apologized for marketing the genuine content of the movie in an inappropriate manner.

The objection that was raised is absolutely accurate — sexualizing young girls is not a thing to be supported in any way. Yet, the actual movie does just the opposite, in an artistic way that may not be “in-your-face” but still clearly depicts its intent.

The director had totally the right intent and portrayed it in her own beautiful style but unfortunately, we live in times where armchair critics are sitting almost eager to get their knickers in a knot at the slightest provocation.

Here is what the movie actually portrays, and why it completely fits the reality of the day and age we live in.

Tech & Social Media Exposure Has Consequences

If you were born anytime in the 20th century and are reading this, you’ll know what I mean when I say this. I look at 10–12 yr old kids today, hear the conversations they have, look at them spending all their time on their mobile phones, and wonder — was I ever like that?

The answer is a resounding No.

At 10 or 12 yrs old, I barely had access to the kind of things that they do — mobile phones, the internet, and the excess, often unfiltered access to information — good and bad. I didn’t talk the way they talk. I didn’t have so much “peer pressure” on me as they do.

I am not saying they have it easier than we did — it is probably the opposite. A majority of the Millennials and the generations prior to them still had some child-like behaviors and qualities until their late teens. I refuse to use the word “innocence” because the nature of changing times doesn’t really mean today’s kids aren’t innocent — they’re just different from what we were as kids.

And unfortunately, like most things that have a right time, such excess exposure to impressionable minds is almost unnatural and often a bad thing.

This is exactly what the director of Cuties intended to convey. She says in an interview to Cineuropa:

During my research, I saw that all these young girls I’d met were very exposed on social media. And with new social codes, the ways of presenting yourself change. I saw that some very young girls were followed by 400,000 people on social media and I tried to understand why. There were no particular reasons, besides the fact that they had posted sexy or at least revealing pictures: that is what had brought them this “fame.” Today, the sexier and the more objectified a woman is, the more value she has in the eyes of social media. And when you’re 11, you don’t really understand all these mechanisms, but you tend to mimic, to do the same thing as others in order to get a similar result. I think it is urgent that we talk about it, that a debate be had on the subject.

The Focus on “Independence” Is a Little Overdone

I am a father of a two-year-old, and the constant scrutiny there is on parenting is like never before. There are countless books and studies and research teaching you on how and when you should start making your child “independent”. The advice on not sharing beds, letting kids have their own opinion, doing their own things, learning their own way is just overwhelming.

Does that mean parents should stop responsibly overseeing their children? If my son wants to touch a burning candle and “explore” for himself, should I allow him to burn himself? If he is curious to touch and see how the edge of that shiny silver knife feels like, should I let him cut himself?

I don’t think I need to even state the answer to that.

A huge and increasingly bigger responsibility of being a parent in today’s generation is to allow your kids to make their choices, but guide them so that they can see the right from the wrong. The movie does just that.

The mother lashes out at her daughter at first in an impulsive reaction when she finds out of her rebellious behavior, but the same mother in a scene later, stands up for her daughter and embraces her after she realizes her mistakes. She supports and stands by her and helps her in returning to the normal life of an 11-year old, that she had digressed from.

Parents need to continue to guide their children for as long as they need guidance, without needing to take anything away from the “liberty” of their children.

Hyper-Sexualization Is an Unfortunate Reality

We’re debating about this topic today, but this has been a growing concern for a while now. The National Center for Domestic and Sexual Violence has research that discusses the issue in detail and was published a whole decade ago in 2010. The review talks about sexualization of youth and its importance:

“It is important to analyse cultural representations of gender roles, sexuality and relationships and ask what specific values are being promoted and if these are having a negative impact on child development. Key questions include the impact on children… of stereotyped images of passivity and sexual objectification… the long term impacts of early exposure to adult sexual themes and the ways in which cultural exposure impacts on parents’ roles in protecting and educating children around sexuality in a developmentally appropriate way.”

The answer to this reality is acknowledging the issue and addressing it by having open conversations around it with children. Parents are best positioned to do this as the first line of defense but educational institutions, and general societal responsibility is just as key.

The NCDSV provides a detailed conclusion but most of it is in line with what Cuties Director, Maïmouna Doucouré, is trying to convey:

Children’s ability to understand and assimilate information develops over time. Given the proliferation and accessibility of sexualised images, it is almost inevitable that children will come into contact with content they’re not ready to understand. Not only can this be upsetting and disruptive, it can also lead them to make assumptions about what’s appropriate that could lead them into potentially dangerous and damaging situations.

What’s the solution then? There isn’t a simple one. But what it definitely isn’t is trying to point fingers at a work of art that is simply trying to do its bit in depicting an issue that is of immense importance and needs to be addressed by the society in general. If you don’t like the image a mirror shows, breaking it is hardly ever the solution.