Cut Emotional Disappointment Off at the Pass
How I Learned to Bounce Back Quickly
It’s the crushing blows that can stop us on a dime.
Disappointments will happen, of course. But we don’t have to let them sit with us and dictate a heaviness that is unhealthy. Be disappointed, unpack your feelings, and walk away.
It took me a bit longer than I would have liked to break the code that works for me, but I choose to celebrate that I broke the code at all.
I can breathe again.
And, you can, too.
Maybe you were passed over for a promotion you just know you deserved. A new neighbor moves in and acts like a bull in a china shop with no awareness or caring that their construction vehicles are impeding your ability to navigate past now.
It could be a friend or family member that disregarded you and your feelings or simply didn’t put in a reciprocal effort towards you that you did for them, so freely. Even a half-hearted apology reeks of insincerity which adds salt to the wound.
All of these things can and do, happen to all of us at some point in our lives.
They sting.
Disappointment can even cripple us emotionally to the point where time stands still while we wallow in our pain and lack of understanding.
After years of suffering on the walk of an empath, highly sensitive to the energies of those around me, I was emotionally vulnerable and questioning everything about me.
Why wasn’t I good enough? Am I supposed to take care of everyone? Who will take care of me? When is it my turn to be validated? Eventually, I realized only I could answer those questions.
So, what did I do?
I shifted my mindset to:
Take Back My Power
Prevent Pitfalls
Introduce Self-Care
Alter My Expectations of Others
Take Back My Power: I was looking to everyone else for answers. Why did they see me as a doormat? The problem is they don’t know that answer. It was up to me to put forth who I know I am. I slowly stopped molding myself to fit what others wanted from me. I still love outside affirmations but I don’t let them drive me. Being proud of the person I am, at the end of the day, holds the greater weight now.
Prevent Pitfalls: I work hard to not set myself up for disappointment. I was the person who kept walking in front of a firing squad and asking why I got shot. I started recognizing situations for what they were and not what I wanted to believe. Facts versus fantasy. This takes insight and being honest with myself. Off came my rose-colored glasses.
Introducing Self-Care: I was waiting for others, while I stood humbly in the background, to step forward and show me that I meant something to them. I would do their bidding, fulfill their needs first and then wait. This needed to change. I love Church, so I went to Church regardless that I had no one to join me. I made time to get my hair cut. I carved out a free hour to go for a run in the mornings. Only I could remind myself that I matter. By doing things that make me happy, I felt self-love.
Alter My Expectations of Others: The single most earth-shattering, life-altering concept I have learned through life, is about my expectations of others. They are not me. I had to, and still consciously remind myself daily, that I cannot expect other people to act, react, feel or do what I would in any given circumstance. Not everyone will go the extra mile and that’s okay. They are who they are and they are not me.
Feelings should not be discounted or disregarded. It’s not about tucking them away to build up inside and sabotage your mental well-being.
How we process them matters, though. You determine disappointment's role in your life. Just like I did in mine.
Don’t let disappointments control you. You can control how you handle them.
Take Back Your Power
Prevent Pitfalls
Introduce Self-Care
Alter Your Expectations of Others
Cut Emotional Disappointment Off at the Pass ~ and live freer.