Cultivating Kindness

Should schools put kindness on the curriculum?

I must confess to not being a particularly kind person. In fact, of all the human traits, that is the one that I would most like to develop but somehow my grumpy lesser nature still manages to dominate.

I do like to imagine a world where kindness was in less short supply; one in which compassion and empathy were put up on a pedestal at least as high as those we give to wealth and power.

Can you picture how much better off society would be if, when great leaders got together, instead of distrust, protectionism and self-interest, genuine compassion and altruism were practised? If blue-chip companies held board meetings where the employees and the environment were put before shareholders and profit margins, would the world be in the state that it finds itself in today?

I know that this sounds like pie in the sky thinking and that dreams hold little sway out there in the real world. We have come to accept the harsh cut and thrust of life as it exists today and, although many people would like to see improvement in the collective social conscience, the general consensus seems to be that our course is set and there is little chance of changing it.

Fortunately, not everyone adheres to this slightly depressing mindset. Some more forward-thinking schools are starting to experiment with teaching kindness at school. It is early days and long term scientific studies will take years to prove or disprove whether these pioneering projects are working or not but so far results are looking positive.

Many will argue that kindness is something that should be taught at home and that it should not become yet another way for parents to dump their responsibilities on overworked teachers. In theory, that argument is correct but we need to deal with the world as it is and not just as we think it ought to be. Breakup of the traditional family unit, long working hours and absent parents often mean that what was once learned at home will only be learned as part of the school educational process.

I would suggest that instead of simply adding it to the teacher’s ever-lengthening list of responsibilities, we make it a standard part of the curriculum and give kindness the same priority as we do mathematics and language education.

If we don’t do that, it will either not be incorporated into the system at all or it will become just another embellishment. Teachers will resent the tacked on extra chore and kids will detect its low level of priority and respond in a similar manner.

Much of modern education is focused on providing students with the tools to get ahead in life. Unfortunately, in today’s world, getting ahead often equates to earning more.

In a world with limited resources, that desire to constantly acquire might need to be reconsidered and part of being a kinder person involves kindness to the world as a whole. Teaching kindness may be a good step toward changing the way the next generation prioritizes its values.

At the moment, many of the experiments with kindness education are taking place amongst children from the 4 to 7 age group. This is a logical first step because at that age there is a window in the development process which means that any life lessons they receive are more inclined to stick. I would like to see the kindness studies become something that continues right through school education at all levels.

As they get older, students could be encouraged to suggest their own kindness projects and to be exposed to social projects that are already having a positive impact on society.

I imagine that we might be surprised at some of the ideas that percolate upwards from young minds not yet jaundiced by our cynicism and constrained thinking.

There are people doing wonderful things in our society. Unfortunately, they do not often receive the recognition that is heaped on sports stars, music celebrities and other people who go on to become teen idols. Perhaps this might just help to reverse that trend and make social service something to be looked up to. If those helping the homeless or the sick could wield as much influence as someone shooting hoops or gyrating their hips on stage, the world might just become a better place.

I am not an educationalist or psychologist. I am just a grumpy old man who gets up in the morning and sees a world that seems hell-bent on going down the wrong road. My inbuilt cynicism doesn’t blind me to the fact that there is still hope and a belief that kids are inherently kind. If forward-thinking education professionals are allowed to nurture and develop that kindness then there is no reason why the course we are currently on cannot be changed.

‘The level of our success is limited only by our imagination and no act of kindness is ever wasted.’ Aesop

Kindness is a sort of infectious magic. We all need it and wish for more of it. Why shouldn’t we deliberately promote it to future generations rather than hoping they attain it by assimilation as so many of us failed to do. Perhaps that would be an act of kindness in itself.