WRITING WITH ELOQUENCE
Creative Writers in the Know Love the Subtlety of Hypallage
Say hello to eloquent mornings, articulate afternoons and cultured evenings
Hypallage is a rhetorical device that interchanges two elements in a phrase or sentence where the adjective is deliberately applied to the wrong thing. It’s also known as transferred epithets.
Do not fret, they are as common as the common cold and as customary as birthday cake. Here are some examples —
- She had a tiring day.
- Jane gave a confused look.
- That was a clever prank.
It is not the day that is tired, it’s only a measure of time, but how else do you so succinctly explain she was tired after everything that happened to her during the day?
A look can’t be confused, but by transferring the attributive expression it’s easier to imagine Jane’s confusion as she looks at you with her head slightly tilted, brow furrowed, and lips pursed.
A prank isn’t clever. It’s the mischievous practical joker who is the smartypants.
By attaching the modifier to another word, we break the rules. The normal grammatical order of words is reversed or altered.
Using hypallage
Hypallage casts the state of mind of the protagonist onto a nearby, often unlikely inanimate object. It creates a relationship between two things that would not normally be associated with each other.
As Spock would say, “It’s highly illogical, Captain.”
We use hypallage to emphasise a quality or trait in the subject. It allows writers to create meaning beyond what they simply stated in the text. It can help to produce more vivid and impactful images in the reader’s mind —
Malky watched the impatient eggs boiling.
It’s not the eggs that are impatient, I am.
We wouldn’t normally transfer epithets in such mundane circumstances, but it is the mundane circumstance that calls out for something to keep the reader interested. Who wants to read —
Malky impatiently watched the eggs boil in the pot.
It’s about as interesting as watching, well… a pot boiling. It doesn’t convey my hunger. With hypallage, we can take it a stage further —
Malky stood over the boiling pot as the indifferent sand dribbled slowly into the lower bulb of the egg timer.
Every single grain of that bloody sand didn’t care that I was in a hungry hurry.
The adjective (indifferent) does not describe the noun (sand). I’m not indifferent, either. I’m the opposite of indifferent. It’s describing my animosity toward the sand because my belly is rumbling, and I’m late for my appointment.
The creative power of hypallage subtly makes the reader imagine the scene without being overly verbose. Of course, it isn’t the rhetorical device that is brilliant — it’s the writer who uses it effectively.
Classic examples
P. G. Wodehouse was a master of deflecting emotion away from the self. He often took it to the absurd. He gave us:
“I balanced a thoughtful lump of sugar on my teaspoon.”
“I lit a rather pleased cigarette.”
“His eyes widened and an astonished piece of toast fell from his grasp.”
— P. G. Wodehouse
With these comedic turns of phrase, it is no wonder fans of Wodehouse have expressed the positive effects he has on their morale.
In 1944, Dylan Thomas recorded Quite Early One Morning his imaginative description of the Cardiganshire village of New Quay. It’s a delightful picture of a small seaside town, a richly imaginative, humorous piece of work and he filled it with hypallage —
“I walked through the streets like a stranger come out of the sea, shrugging off weed and wave and darkness with each step, or like an inquisitive shadow.”
“What big seas of dreams ran in the Captain’s sleep.”
“I counted ten savage and indignant grunts and groans.”
— Dylan Thomas.
But beware. It is easy to make a mistake—
“The chapel was not asleep, it never cat-napped nor nodded nor closed its long cold eye.”
This line is also from Quite Early One Morning by Dylan Thomas. This is not hypallage but personification. Personification shares a twin spirit with hypallage. It is just as vivid, and it can help you Make Your Writing Come Alive.
With hypallage, epithets attributed to characters are almost always transferred to their surroundings. Human emotions escape and worm their way to weary roads, brave hearts, lonely moons, melancholy nights, concerned eyes, and angry fingers.
Hypallage is the conduit for metaphorical language. Creative writers employ them to infuse their works with strong and graphic imagery.
How to create hypallage
We frequently and unintentionally use hypallage in our everyday conversation. When asked, ‘How are you?’ It elicits, “I’ve had a fantastic day,” or “I’ve had a horrible day,” — the latter if you worked for my old boss.
In writing, make sure you are clear on what you want to describe and the impression you want to achieve. For instance, if your character is tired after a hard day ploughing the fields, you might want to tell your reader the ploughman was exhausted on his walk home.
For a more emotive and durable effect, you could write —
“The ploughman homeward plods his weary way.”
— Thomas Gray’s Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard.
I’ve been working on my latest book and one of my lines read—
We ate too much, drank too much, and I woke up with my usual hangover.
I chewed my pen for several minutes and changed it to —
After a hospitably boozy night, I woke with a drooch,* a lethargic burrito belly, and a port hazy head.
(I might chew my pen some more to tidy that up.)
*Drooch is Scottish for ‘drought’, as applied to a thirst brought on by overindulgence in alcohol.
In conclusion
The beauty of hypallage is it adds richness to your writing. It makes your reader think. Your protagonist’s emotions come alive in the reader’s imagination.
It’s also fun to write. A mix between a crossword and a jigsaw. You have to find the right word and then move it around until it fits. What better way to spend a bewitching day?
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