Inspiration

Creating a Sound Reputation

What kind of reputation do you have?

How is your reputation? Is it good overall, or is it lacking in some areas? Are you aware of what others think about you? Does your reputation help or hurt you in life?

Let’s look at these questions and more.

What is your reputation?

What kind of reputation do you have at work? How about with your family and friends? What about online and in social circles? Do you know for sure what they think of you, or do you assume you know? It’s not always easy to know for sure, is it?

Part of the issue for many people is they assume they know what others think of them, but what if your assumptions are wrong? You know what they say about ass/u/me, don’t you?

There is only one sure way to find out how others see you. You must ask them! Hopefully, they will be honest with you.

A good reputation can take you far in life. As the wisest man to ever live once said:

“Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold.” Solomon (~950 BC)

Let’s take a closer look at this thing called reputation.

You are not your reputation, or are you?

An important thing to recognize about your reputation is you do not own it.

Your reputation is what other people think about you.

Consider someone you think has a good reputation. That is how you see and think about the person. No one can force you to agree with how they see themselves.

But what about your reputation? One thing you can know about yourself is your character. Your reputation flows from it.

Character is who you are on the inside. Should you lack character in some way, such as not being trustworthy, your reputation can be destroyed — at least to those who know about it.

While you are responsible to some degree for your reputation, you cannot control what another person thinks or says about you.

Some may judge you by how you look, walk, talk, act, write, and other subjective ways. How others judge you may not accurately depict who you are, but they could be right.

People will judge you regardless. That is what we human beings do. Sadly, it is a reality of life that we often judge others more harshly than they deserve.

The only way to know your reputation in another person’s eyes is to ask them. Again, hopefully, you will get an honest answer. To find out what they think about you, ask them: “How do you think I come across to other people?” Followed up with, “What kind of reputation do I have with them?” This less direct approach puts them a little less on the spot since you are asking for their third-party view.

How your reputation is created

As mentioned, reputation flows from character. Who you are on the inside plays a significant role in the image you project on the outside.

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865)

Check out the article — The Importance of Character, for a more in-depth look at this subject.

Whether you realize it or not, others are always watching you and forming opinions about who you are. You can wish this wasn’t true, but you cannot avoid it unless you become a hermit. But come to think of it, being reclusive will still create a reputation for you! There is no escape from how others see us and their judgments, so why fight it?

“As a general rule, a reputation is built on manner as much as on achievement.” Joseph Conrad (1857–1924)

The bottom line is the subjective opinion of another person determines your reputation based on how well they know you.

What can your reputation do for you?

“A reputation for good judgment, for fair dealing, for truth, and for rectitude, is itself a fortune.” Henry Ward Beecher (1813–1887)

Your reputation can open doors or shut them tight. It can help you remain employed or get you fired. It can hold a marriage together or wreck it. There is no end to the benefits of a good reputation or the negative effect a bad reputation can cause.

Is it possible to have no reputation? So long as people are around, it is unlikely.

Take time to think about how others see you and how it may influence their opinion of you. Do this for different people at work, home, church, in your neighborhood, out in public, and anywhere else you may be. A little thinking can go a long way.

How you appear and behave around others has huge upsides and downsides. Some may have a reputation for being approachable, while others may be unapproachable. Who doesn’t know someone with a reputation for being calm or a hothead? What about those who have the reputation of being strong or a wimp?

Yet, how accurate are you in your judging of someone else? Perhaps you judge them correctly. Or maybe you misjudge them.

Some amazing benefits you can gain by maintaining a solid character and the resulting good reputation include:

• The respect and admiration of others
• Greater trustworthiness in your relationships
• A more promising career
• Better opportunities in life
• A growth path and something to aim at
• A more fulfilling life
• A stronger and happier marriage and family life
• Greater peace of mind and more joy

Those are some amazing benefits, aren’t they? What others would you add?

Imagine losing some of the above benefits because of a bad reputation. It’s not a pretty picture, is it?

Can you mend a reputation?

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” Warren Buffett (1930-present)

The only way to properly understand another person is to interact with them for some time. Since we all misjudge others, the potential cure for the reputation someone else has put on us is to get to know them so they can get to know you.

They may be judgmental and never change their mind. Or they may be open-minded and come to think differently. I like to think most of us are the latter and not the former.

The key is you will never know without interacting with them. I can’t count how many people I have misjudged. But when I got to know many of them, I realized I had wrongly judged them. Their reputation then changed for the better in my eyes. Yet, how many did I not get to know? It is difficult to say how many others I completely misjudged and continue to do so.

“A reputation once broken may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was.” Joseph Hall (1574–1656)

I have had the good fortune to mend wrong impressions of me on multiple occasions. Employees and colleagues have told me they were mistaken about me because of what they heard. That does not say much about my reputation when they met me! Yet, I developed many great relationships with employees and colleagues over the years, so all was not lost!

One of the best pieces of advice I acquired during my career was from a famous American preacher:

“If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me.” Dwight L. Moody (1837–1899)

The bottom line is when you work on your character, are aware that others are always watching you, and become measured in your actions, you can build great credibility in their eyes. That credibility is simply another word for reputation. Should your reputation be questioned by someone, get to know them personally, and you may change your standing with them. It may take some time, but it is possible to do.

Final thoughts

Your character comes from who you are, what you do, and how you behave, each affecting how others see you, creating your reputation in their eyes. And never forget, as you get to know others personally, your opinion of them and their opinion of you will likely change.

I leave you with the words of a true man of character with an impeccable reputation:

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden (1910–2010)

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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION

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