Crashing the Tree Langdon Proust Party

I loved the questions. Here are the answers.

Tree Langdon fired off a challenge which I missed (okay okay, my excuse is that I’m trying VERY hard to set up the gym in my basement). However I saw Dr Mehmet Yildiz’s answer and loved the challenge so much I thought I’d hijack it and respond. My apologies to Tree, as I’m not sure I was invited, but as a fellow Illumination writer I hope it’s okay.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Three-part answer:

1. There is no such thing, to my mind

2. Finally getting old and mature enough to understand that there is no such thing

and

3. Learning that happiness is a choice, even when I have pig shit all over my new shoes, and that if pigs can be happy in poo, why can’t I?

What is your greatest fear?

To lose time in life because of fear. To allow fear to dictate my choices, my life, my joy, and my decisions. To live small because I allowed fear to imprison me, limit me and keep me from doing and becoming what I came here to do.

Running out of batteries for my buzzer.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

How long have you got?

Which living person do you most admire?

How long have you got? I admire anyone who is brave enough to face down their inner demons. Anyone who chooses the high road no matter what. Anyone who owns their shit. Anyone who is scared shitless and does it anyway, whatever IT is, especially if they have to wade through disapproval and doubt to do it. People who refuse to be victims.

Almost every Black woman I have ever met, beginning with my second mom and her oldest daughter, my sister growing up.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Okay. Look. I might have said youth and beauty but since I don’t possess either any more, and will never again, that’s an easy one. Given our times, given our current leadership, my answer is contextual: I utterly despise authoritarian leadership. Don’t get me started.

One what occasion do you lie?

When asked, are your boobs real?

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

The word “I.”

Shit.

Fuck.

My boobs are real.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My two Blue Heelers, Buster and Cooter.

Oh. Wait. You mean men?

My two Blue Heelers, Buster and Cooter.

When and where were you the happiest?

Were? Am. Right here, right now, as often as possible. There is no past tense.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

When asked if my boobs are real, I wouldn’t have to lie.

What would you consider your greatest achievement?

Other than making it through this year, learning to own my shit. And, finding my super power: my funny bone. Learning how to laugh long and hard at the pig poo life throws on my shoes. And in my face. Stop breaking my buzzer.

Where would you most like to live?

Two parts to this: I am looking at it outside my window right now.

Second, I can’t wait to find a small place to rent a few months of the year in Columbia.

I am where I am supposed any time, all the time, for that is where I need to be. The idea of a “better place” is a fallacy.

What do you most value in your friends?

Own their shit. Personal responsibility. Loyalty. Courage. Vulnerability. Joie de vivre. Their willingness to call me on my shit and forgive me when I step in theirs. The courage to set clear boundaries out of a space of grace. Humor.

People who know me well enough to send me batteries for Christmas. For my buzzer.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Beryl Markham. Alexandra David-Néel.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Too many to list; one I met right here in Illumination. On a really, really good day, it’s the one I face off with every morning. Because ultimately I am tasked to be my own hero.

Almost every Black woman I ever met.

What is your greatest regret?

I have a real affinity for languages, but never developed fluency in anything other than English.

My other regret is that I keep burning out my buzzer.

When asked if my boobs are real, I have to lie.

What is your motto?

I don’t have a motto. I have a life purpose, which I do my level best to live up to every day:

Move people’s lives.

That means I have to live by example. As in, own my shit. Find the worst in life funny (not laugh at others, but only my own stupidity). Be grateful for everything, good bad and ugly. Don’t blame others. And find the batteries for my buzzer.

Tagging Dr Mehmet Yildiz. Thank you!