Summary

The text reflects on the personal journey of self-discovery and transformation, as the author grapples with their changing identity and the struggle to reconcile their inner turmoil with their outer appearance.

Abstract

The narrative "Cracked Mirror" is a poignant reflection on the author's internal conflict and the divergence between their external appearance and internal state. Through the metaphor of a cracked mirror, the author describes waking up each day to a reflection that no longer aligns with their sense of self, signifying a profound personal transformation over five years. The author acknowledges a loss of their former identity and the emotional strength they've gained, juxtaposed with a sense of death from an external perspective. Despite the challenges, they push forward, only to be reminded of their internal struggle when confronted with their morning reflection. The author reveals a life fraught with chaos, stress, and anxiety, leading to feelings of inauthenticity and a sense of being a stranger to themselves. The text delves into themes of compartmentalization, self-criticism, and the emergence of a self-absorbed and dangerous alter ego that thrives on vanity and confidence. Ultimately, the author finds solace in their faith and the realization that their true self, shaped by life's experiences, is resilient and valued by a higher power.

Opinions

The author feels that their outward appearance does not match their inner self, leading to a sense of disconnection and loss.
There is a struggle to maintain authenticity in the face of life's pressures, including work-related bullying and personal anxiety.
The author describes a duality within themselves, with one side being a beautiful yet empty and dangerous reflection that embodies vanity and self-obsession.
The text suggests that the author's internal conflict is akin to a "gorgeous mess," a chaotic but beautiful journey of self-discovery.
The author uses sarcasm to downplay the severity of their struggle, implying that the "cracked out" reference is more about their sarcastic nature than substance abuse.
There is a realization that self-love should emanate from within and be connected to a higher power, contrasting with the superficial self-love of the mirror reflection.
The author concludes with a sense of empowerment, viewing themselves as a "God's Warrior," despite the imperfections and challenges faced.

Cracked Mirror

Mirror Cracked

Reflections

I wake up each morning. What do I see? A cracked out version of what used to be me. Have I really changed that much in five years? The answer is yes. I hold back the tears.

The things that I once possessed are gone. What used to feel right now feels wrong. I feel stronger inside. From the outside I look like I have died.

I push one foot in front of the other. Always do my best. But that damn mirror in the morning puts me back to the test.

Okay! Okay! Enough with all the jest! Don’t forget this is the Gorgeous Mess!

Who Is In The Mirror?

I stand here looking at the mirror. I start doing my daily routine. What bothers me is the reflection staring back at me. Is it me? Have I lost myself again? I need to be found.

Can anybody relate to this feeling?Have you ever wondered if it could truly be you in that glass reflection? Have you ever stared at yourself for a long time? So long that you become distorted. Unrecognizable. You try to connect the dots? Maybe I am losing my mind.

My life has been a chaotic gorgeous mess. It has been for quite awhile now. I’m beginning to see the cracks in my infrastructure. The stress, the bullies at work, my anxiety. Life in general has not been easy as of late. I start thinking to myself. I am a fake.

The Stranger

I am simply a stranger to my own self. I have compartmentalized each and every event. These events become little files that I lock away. Swallow the key. They eat me up inside. The prison cell opens. Who is escaping? The other side of me. The stranger.

The side that only evil loves. Evil loves a beautiful reflection. Loves vanity. I feel the switch. It’s all about the presentation. My walk changes. My thinking changes. I recognize the woman in the mirror again.

This woman is dangerous. She is empty inside. She is a shell. She is possessed. She loves herself way too much. She is skinny. She is beautiful. She is overly confident. She is beyond vain. Any chance to see a reflection of herself she will take. It’s as if she is in love with herself. It is different then self love. Self love comes from within. Self love comes from God. She is not from God. This woman is going to struggle to keep it together today.

If anybody sees the real me, please tell the cracked out version of myself she needs to come back. Come back quickly. This body cannot withstand anymore brutality. No more damage.

Snap of a finger.

Self Reflection

Back to the cracked out gorgeous mess. Not cracked out the way one is thinking. I am very sarcastic. I always feel in every mirror there is a crack/fracture that takes us beyond. Beyond to that ugly person we all have inside of us. The one that turns the world upside down and inside out. She does this for the mere pleasure of watching everything implode. Self destruction.

In conclusion the cracked out version of me should always be the reflection I see. For nothing in this world is black and white and if you’re not careful you will become a creature of the night.

This is no longer who I see. I am so blessed to look back in the mirror and see me. So I am a little tired and I am little older, but what is inside of me I know has made me bolder.

God is with me when I’m a mess and the sparkle of my eyes shows I’m blessed. So think of this riddle what you may. Regardless I am God’s Warrior. I am here to stay.

Kira Dawn

medium.com/the-intoxicating-unhinged-mind