COVID-19 Couldn’t Stop Our Anniversary
How we creatively celebrated our 20th year wedding anniversary.
Recently I celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary with my wife. We became a couple in February of 1995. We have spent the majority of our adult lives together. Storms came, but we lowered our sails and pushed through the waves.
Challenges are the real test for any relationship. When the proverbial shit hits the fan, that’s when you know who will remain secure and really cares for you. It takes work to make a marriage work, and if anyone tells you differently, they are not being totally truthful.
It’s because of the work that I try to make our anniversary an event to remember. I become more and more excited as the day approaches. I am a planner, and I design it all. Every year I take my wife to a restaurant we usually can’t afford. I mean white table cloths and silverware in the right position. I book a nice hotel, and we spend a weekend out away from our children. If you are a parent, you know it’s almost possible to find quiet time with your significant other.
However, this year a silent infiltrator named COVID-19 altered our plans. Still, we weren’t going to allow it to dampen our milestone. We had to be creative and figure out how to commemorate our two decades together. My wife tasked me with the planning, and I was determined to rise to the occasion. What can you do when all the usual haunts are closed indefinitely. I must admit it was a challenge. It’s easy to make a reservation at an eating establishment, buy movie tickets, or book a hotel. It’s amazing what you take for granted when it’s not available. Creativity becomes your best friend in a pandemic.
It’s easier to listen when you are not distracted by work or kids’ activities. I listened intently to the hints she threw out in random conversation. She likes wine, so I purchased her a gift box of her favorite varieties. She commented about dipping strawberries in chocolate. At first, I was going to dip them myself. However, I figured why not order her a dozen. Wine and chocolate go perfectly together.
In our relationships, we must practice active listening. Don’t speak right away, but listen carefully to what your partner is saying. You may find out something important. By listening, I was able to discern what my wife would like for her anniversary. I believe it was easier to hear because the distractions of daily life are minimal when you are quarantined 24 hours a day.
For weeks we’ve basically worn loungewear around the house. However, we wanted to change our daily routine. My wife did her hair and makeup and put on a cute outfit while I shaved up and put on a pair of slacks and a polo shirt. It created the illusion like we were going out as we did for our past anniversaries. The world felt normal for a brief moment as we celebrated.
I encourage any couple to dress up and act as if they are about to go out. Hold hands and sit on the sofa. Reminisce about the first few years together and how it seemed the world was yours to conquer.
We wanted to commemorate our quarantine anniversary, so we took over fifty pictures. Our daughter and 8-year-old son posed with us to help celebrate our special day. The day was beautiful. The sun shone brightly and warmly on our picture session. It was the only calm day. The rest of the week was horrible weather-wise.
My wife and I are from New Orleans. Good food and drinks are part of our DNA. Its the only city you can buy alcohol through a drive-up window. I don’t know of another town that allows that particular type of transaction. Daiquiris are a New Orleans tradition. I blended strawberry daiquiris and personally served her. We had a New Orleans style meal to accompany our drinks and enjoyed each other’s company. We love to laugh and crack jokes together. Laughter is a great gift to have when you are uncertain about the future.
Movies are one of our favorite activities. However, all movie theaters are shuttered. Over the years, I’ve built a home theater system in our basement. I decided to order a movie and present it downstairs. We had theater box candy and drinks as we watched “Bad Boys for Life.” A great film, by the way. I dimmed the lights, and we relaxed in our recliners. We felt like we were indeed on a date outside the home.
If you have a milestone approaching in your relationship, there is no reason the event can’t be memorable during the lockdown. We may be locked down physically but not our imagination. Ask questions of your partner and see what they would like. It really is the thought that counts. Yes, I understand that’s cliche, but it’s a universal truth.
Trust this current situation will test your relationship. There is no escaping to work or going to hang with friends.
Fix a favorite meal and sit at the table and have a carefree conversation. Don’t talk about COVID- 19 or the kids. Send them to their rooms if possible. I understand with younger children, it’s more difficult to send them to their own domain. However, put them to bed as early as possible and enjoy some adult time together.
Stream your favorite shows and cuddle on the couch. Drink a good bottle of wine or make mixed drinks. Create a playlist of your favorite jams(songs)and have a party with each other. My wife and I created a 20-year playlist populated with songs we’ve loved throughout our marriage.
I suggest taking a walk around your neighborhood, holding hands. Soak up the sun and forget about the pandemic for a moment. Use this time to reconnect. Sometimes we lose our connection amid our busy lives. I read a statistic that American’s spend 70 percent of their day outside the home. We are never home long enough to truly connect.
Our smartphones steal the majority of our day. Furthermore, our kids are in every imaginable activity. Once we arrive home, we either drop take out on the table or hastily throw a meal together before we collapse into bed to do it again.
This is what the world was before this pandemic. We were busy and never had time to sit and enjoy whatever God has blessed us with. It shouldn’t take a crisis to make us notice our families.
I understand that many of my fellow Americans lost their jobs and are struggling to make ends meet. It is challenging to manage a relationship when you are trying to put food on the table.
I implore you to carve a small amount of time for yourself and your partner. Try to be deliberate in your actions and make as many good memories as you can during this crisis.
Please stay safe and healthy. If you are anyone you know are suffering from coronavirus, I pray health and wellness soon return to your friend or loved one.
Estacious(Charles White) is a 23-year educator. He began writing over 25 years ago. His work experience encompasses managing schools and teaching a variety of subjects. His passions are poetry, short fiction, playwrighting, and non-fiction. He won one of six prizes in the Rockford play festival for his play “Incarcerated Christmas.” He is married with three children and a native of New Orleans.