Alternatives to Netflix and Chill for the 19th Century Couple

Summary

In the 19th century, couples engaged in subtle and socially acceptable courtship rituals to express affection without risking their reputations.

Abstract

The 19th century presented unique challenges for courting couples, who had to navigate strict social norms to express interest in one another. Unlike modern-day "Netflix and Chill," these couples had to be creative and discreet. They engaged in activities such as afternoon tea with chaperones, where they communicated through expressive eyes and coded messages using teacups. Complimenting a gentleman's attire was a safe way for a lady to show admiration without being too forward. Dancing provided an opportunity for physical contact under the guise of the waltz's fast pace. Fans were not just cooling devices but tools for seduction, with intricate signals and feigned fainting spells to enable close encounters. Strolling in public with a proper distance maintained allowed for playful pokes with a parasol, while carriage rides were occasions for light-hearted jokes about marriage to keep the courtship casual.

Opinions

The article suggests that 19th-century courtship was a sophisticated game of subtlety and innuendo, where even a glance or a tap of a teacup could convey deep affection.
It implies that the presence of chaperones, particularly disapproving aunties, added excitement to the courtship process by forcing couples to communicate covertly.
The text posits that the strict fashion standards of the time, such as tight corsets and custom-made garments, inadvertently provided opportunities for flirtation and compliments.
The use of fans and the act of fainting are portrayed as clever tactics for physical contact that would otherwise be socially unacceptable.
The article humorously notes that the socially mandated distance between men and women during public strolls led to inventive ways to bridge the gap, such as poking with a parasol.
It also reflects on the importance of maintaining a nonchalant attitude during carriage rides to avoid appearing too eager in the relationship, suggesting that the rules of courtship were a delicate balance between interest and indifference.

Tea and see

Afternoon tea with a gentleman is always presided over by a disapproving auntie on the lookout for any whiff of impropriety. So using only expressive eyes a couple can have an entire conversation while seemingly talking about the weather or the House of Lords. Using the cups to gently tap out x-rated morse code to send a flirtatious, “I like that ankle,” will only add to the excitement.

Compliment his dress without distress

One must spend an exorbitant amount of time choosing custom-made garments to impress one’s peers. Therefore it is not seen as too forward to complement a gentleman’s cravat or remark on the flattering the cut of his pants.

As a result, a lady can actually breathe a little and not worry about ruining her reputation by insinuating that not only has she noticed a man’s buttocks, but that she is quite pleased by it.

Dance and take a chance

Waltz? Yes, please! On the crowded dance floor, while moving too fast for observant elders to clearly see, a gentle squeeze of a partner’s arm, while holding each other a little closer than necessary is all in good fun. As long as both parties are into it. Otherwise a sharp slap with a fan will put unwanted familiarity in its place.

Fan and faint

Fans are an oft used tool for seduction. The complex codes they send enable couples to truly push the line of propriety.

First, the woman creates a signal for her lover so they know when she is about to make her move. Then, once they are close, she acts like she is trying to catch her breath, as if her corset is too tight. This is quite easy to convince bystanders of this falsehood since corsets are often too tight.

Following some delicate panting she pretends to succumb to her feminine weakness and faints. Her lover should be there to catch her. Through this sly trick they will be able to enjoy the thrilling feeling of bodies touching during the brief journey to the nearest couch where she is placed. It’s worth the smelling salts, I promise.

Promenade and poke

Strolling along the socially acceptable public avenues and pathways, the lady casually strolls beneath her parasol enjoying the lovely day while maintaining a proper amount of distance between her and her gentleman. Too far to touch with hands, but too far for a parasol. So when she laughs at one of his (hopefully funny) jokes, she can playfully poke him lightly with the end of her accessory.

But for goodness sake, let’s hope she refrains from using her hand. Should anyone see, the town will be asking about wedding bells by dinner. There’s no need to put a label on what she and the gentleman have yet.

Carriage and joke about Marriage

Once a woman knows a gentleman well enough she might be allowed to ride in his open carriage on Saturdays. The key is to be chill and not let on that she is into him. For example, she should make casual jokes about other recently married couples and how terrible the two of them would be in such a union. By keeping the jokes light-hearted, the young lady succeeds in maintaining a casual courtship and doesn’t scare the gentleman off by being too clingy.

Thanks for reading!

Alternatives to Netflix and Chill for the 19th Century Couple

Keep your reputation while courting

Tea and see

Compliment his dress without distress

Dance and take a chance

Fan and faint

Promenade and poke

Carriage and joke about Marriage

Relationship Advice From The Dead Wives Of Henry VIII

“It’s not enough to have childbearing hips, you need to bear a living male child.”

I’m Just A 19th Century Cool Lady Who Is Up For Whatever

“I like nothing more than putting my exposed ankles up on the table and listening to men talk politics.”