Relationships

Courting By Computer After 16 Years Of Marriage

Thanks to Covid, my husband and I are right back where we started

I met my husband, Harrie, in 2004, and immediately knew I was going to marry him.

I didn’t tell him of my decision, but I did call my dad that night to let him know.

There was just one problem: Harrie is Dutch and lived in the Netherlands.

I’d been divorced for two years and had a boyfriend. Harrie was in the U.S. visiting his American relatives.

I gave him no sign of my decision. There was no flirting between us at all.

He returned to the Netherlands and I started the process of letting down my boyfriend, who picked a bad time to propose. (There wouldn’t have been a good time, honestly. We weren’t a good couple.)

Harrie and I emailed back and forth like platonic penpals, but it wasn’t enough. We wanted to talk in real-time.

Enter Yahoo Messenger. It allowed us to text but we couldn’t see or hear each other.

Depending on your age, you may be surprised to learn that there was a time when you couldn’t easily and affordably video chat with anybody in the world anytime you wanted. We got there eventually but at first, it was all texting via computer.

We texted for hours every single day. I was charmed by his not-quite-fluent English and recognized that the seven-hour time difference meant he was choosing to lose significant sleep in order to talk to me after I got home from work.

Almost our entire courtship took place over the computer. After seven months of this, I scored round-trip tickets to Amsterdam for less than $400 and spent two weeks with him.

We had two years of dating via computer and airplane before we married in 2006, but now we are right back where we started because I am isolating after being exposed to Covid-19.

My little grandson tested positive the morning after I arrived for a visit, and my daughter’s first words were, “You have to go.”

I knew she was right. I couldn’t even hug and kiss my daughter and grandchildren goodbye — but I’d been in close contact with them. Masked, but still.

Back home, my territory became a spare bedroom and the upstairs bath, while my husband kept the master bedroom and moved all his toiletries to the downstairs bath.

We worked out a spot where he would leave food and I would place my dishes. He video called me for a long bedtime conversation and said, “We’re right back where we started.”

“Well, except I’m just in the next room,” I said.

But my husband and I are back to being able to communicate but not able to touch each other.

I remember the two years of longing to touch each other but being separated by the Pacific Ocean. Now, the longing is still there but we are both in the same house.

I’ll test myself on Day 5 and am hoping for the best. I’m vaccinated and boosted, but it’s been more than six months since my last booster, so who knows?

I wore my N95 on the visit and moved away from everyone else when I had to pull down my mask to eat or drink. Will that have been effective even though I was in extremely close contact with someone at the peak time of infectiousness?

My grandson is a cuddly 4-year-old. We snuggled and tickled and teased each other before he suddenly started vomiting and then tested positive.

Now we find out how an N-95 and vaccines stack up against an affectionate, infected small child.

And my husband may as well be back in Holland, except he’s here to bring me food so I can stay in my room, and we can video chat for free anytime we want.

About Michelle Teheux

I’m a freelance copywriter from central Illinois. Find me on Twitter or LinkedIn.