Couples and Lovers are Just Like Headlights of a Car
Working together or, sometimes, one at a time
I was driving on a highway at night, a few years ago. I was tired because I spent all day at a conference. I was a little afraid of falling asleep so I hung tight on the wheel and tried to keep my eyes open with all my strength.
Suddenly, the road ahead of me became completely dark: both my headlights got out of order!
Obviously, I freaked both out of fear of the dangerous situation and the rarity of the fact: I mean, what are the odds of having both the lights breaking at the same time?!?
I slowed down and kept on the left lane till I reached a gas station. All the way mumbled things like
“Both! How is it possible?”
Or:
“It should be the cables or the electronic unit… it is going to cost me a lot of time and money to solve this problem!”
Fortunately, the guy at the gas station provided me with the model of lightbulbs I needed and replaced them. He was also so kind to chat a little with me and explained all the steps and his opinion.
— No, they didn’t burn out together, tonight…
— What? A moment, I could clearly see the road and the next it went all dark!
— I get this, but they didn’t burn out both tonight.
— I’m not following you…
— You see, you were driving quite safely with just one working light, the other was already broken. You noticed the difference only when also the last working one went out.
Do you get where this is going? Often in our lives, we travel with just one working headlight, confident in the fact that everything is working perfectly and according to our plans. It’s just when also the other headlight stops working that we notice the problem with the other one. And, at that point, it is often too late.
The same goes for life in general and, especially for relationships: we don’t realize there is a problem till it’s too late to fix it. We ignore the signals coming from outside like I ignored all the cars flashing at me trying to make me notice my burnt headlight.
In the same way, in a couple, we carry on believing everything is alright just because only one side of the couple is not working, but we are or vice-versa. Then, when the problem gets so big and runs over the other partner, it becomes evident, inevitable and, unfortunately, sometimes unfixable.
The only way to prevent this is to stop the car from time to time, get out and check if both the headlights work. From time to time, pause your life and, even if it seems good and working, analyze it.
Listen to your partner, check on them.
And don’t miss those little, yet fundamental signals.
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