Why you should share your cookies
Count Your Wealth in Friends, Not Funds
Today I was reminded of my wealth. Not my money, such as it is. My real wealth.
The day started badly. I didn’t sleep well last night. The weather was grey and drizzly. I spilled tea on myself at breakfast. It was just not shaping up to be a good time.
Three hours later I was sitting at my desk, staring at the wall. My back hurt. My legs twitched. My brain was bouncing around like Super Mario. A whole morning with nothing accomplished, and it was still grey and rainy. Nope, really not a good day.
When the rain finally eased up, I had to get out of the house.
Wandering aimlessly through neighborhoods, I ended up near a friend’s place. We’ve only known each other for a few months, but I took a chance. I rang from downstairs to see if she could come out and play. Lucky for me, she said yes.
For 30 mins we meandered through her neighborhood talking about everything and nothing. Sharing opinions, looking at the scenery, laughing or being silent. She turned my brain around, without my even asking. Walking home with a spring in my step, I felt lighter, more focused, and happy. I hardly noticed the returning drizzle.
What Makes a Friendship?
According to William K. Rawlins, Stocker Professor of Communication Studies at Ohio University, the requirements for friendship are pretty basic: “People want their close friends to be someone they can talk to, someone they can depend upon and someone they enjoy.” There are no rules about age, gender, background, ability, or anything else.
Adult friendships increase our happiness in life. They encourage us to try new activities and see new perspectives. And like my friend today, they can help you move, which is good for health as well as happiness.
Participating in friendships builds social capital. Just knowing that someone else trusts you, and values your existence, builds your self-esteem.
Share Your Cookies
Building or maintaining a friendship takes very little effort. Just make time for them. Share some news about yourself, or respond with interest when your friend shares something with you. Invite the other person to do something: see a movie, have a cup of coffee, take a walk. One study found that the things we do to stay connected, and the way our friends behave, contribute significantly to our overall happiness.
Yes, it’s great to see your friends, share experiences and build common memories. But when that’s not possible, make time in other ways. Have a virtual coffee, send a card, or call them, just to say hi. Even a few minutes on the phone or email keeps the friendship alive.
Whether you have the blues or the blahs, your friends can, and want to, help you recover. They celebrate your successes, laugh at your jokes, commiserate with your trials, deepen and broaden your view of life. Every friend makes your life richer, in the only kind of wealth that really matters.
So to my friend, thank you. You turned my dull, dreary and downer day around. My life is enriched by your presence. I am, truly, a wealthy woman.
