Could This Initiative Work As An Antidote To Loneliness And Shrink Reliance On Aged-Care Homes?

Given that aged care homes here in Australia are under intense scrutiny, right now, might we take a more creative look at alternatives?

It’s not so much about getting old, but in thinking old. Sadly some people were born short-changed.

Buy assuming you weren’t, short-changed, how about thinking creatively about an alternative to aged care accommodation.

Unless all aged people, here in Australia in particular, are willing to redirect their lives to The Netherlands to something as pleasing and caring as a beautiful purpose-built dementia village that has been practically, and impressively designed to meet the needs of people with dementia, we may be challenged to get more creative and inspirational about how we spend the latter years of our lives, dementia or otherwise.

There’s a tendency to think that being alone is our greatest poverty, but it’s not. Being with people who make you feel you are not worth caring about, is bankrupt living.

One thing we can all be certain of, is that one day, we are going to grow old, then die. It’s life. It’s a hero’s journey with all its ups and downs.

There’s history to each of our lives, adventure, sadness, we’ve been tested, survived ordeals, and influenced people in ways we might not necessarily appreciate, and we have regrets, mistakes that we cannot go back and re-write.

We all begin our life journey with a natural bravado, but many of us will end that same journey with a little less confidence and surety.

That being the case, how can we be kinder, and more willing to make the last few years of a person’s life, memorable for all the right reasons?

Let’s have a look at the current choices.

Retirement homes have come under huge scrutiny for all the obvious reasons. People genuinely fear having to be absorbed into their halls of anonymity.

• the sense of isolation
• the end of a freedom, once held dear
• the standard of food offered, not by all institutions, but by many
• tight regulations and regimes that don’t necessarily sit well

Let’s look too at the realities of aging:

• we become frail
• accidents happen
• we lose independence
• we become lonely
• and though in aged care homes, we still feel homeless

Here in Australia, one woman of 92 who works as an advocate for the elderly and is studying at university to help her peers, (yes, at 92!), tells us that when staff at her nursing home tell her that this is your home, she rails against the very idea. ‘This is a room,’ she tells them. ‘It will never, ever be my home.’

She is as sharp as a butcher’s knife, and could do so much better in her own home, with an alternative arrangement, of course.

Fortunately there are alternatives. They may not suit some, but they’re a light bulb of hope for others. House sharing is already happening in different parts of the world, where younger, fit people, often students, or people who have come upon hard times, move in with an older person to help them stay independent for as long as possible.

That way, the students enjoy cheaper rents, and in turn are obliged to give a number of hours’ help to the older person.

Already I can hear the naysayers, those who will warn of exploitation, and seniors being put at risk, and that could well be the case, but the system has been carefully thought out and bears scrutiny.

Here in Australia and in Britain, promising initiatives are being put in place.

The idea is to match older people with compatible younger people, companions if you like, but care must be taken to ensure that the arrangement is mutually beneficial.

Students on a limited budget are often keen to be involved in the initiative. It doesn’t seem so much, ten to fifteen hours of help, which must be pledged by the companion: ‘10 to 15 hours of weekly home help and company, and in return, the older person provides them with a room and a place to call home. Kindness and connection are everything.’

There are understandable doubts about how this sort of arrangement might work, the ‘crabbed age and youth’ thoughts flying through the minds of people who have had negative experiences.

And to be honest, it would be wise to be mindful of this, and to ensure that some form of personality profiling be put in place.

I can look back to my own grandmother who I could never have considered co-living with, and that was because there was a very shallow relationship with her in the first place. The trust and caring was never ever in place, and it would have been very difficult to fabricate later in her life.

Yet I can think of other grandmas who would had easily earned their stripes with me, just by their very caring nature.

Still, enjoying someone’s company and co-existing, are two very different things.

Let’s have a look at CareConnect, an Australian set-up.

Share My Home: ‘is committed to enabling older adults establish genuine friendships and a mutual sharing of home life with younger people who care. The founder, an Occupational Therapist, set up Share my Home to give older people an affordable and practical solution to remain living well at home.

‘Two Sydney councils have helped launch an initiative that brings together ageing home owners and younger community members with the aim of reducing social isolation among seniors and delaying the move into residential care.

‘The HomeShare arrangement, delivered by home and community care provider Holdsworth Community and funded by council, is designed to allow older people to remain in their own homes while offering an affordable housing option to a younger person.’

The arrangement affords the owner security, social interaction, financial support and/or practical help, while the sharer has access to safe and affordable housing. It also means companionship for both.

Home share schemes have had positive social impacts in the UK, US, Europe and some states in Australia.

It’s not just the younger generation that benefits, but as I said, some middle-aged, possibly divorced women, who may be financially challenged, lonely, or both, see in this, an opportunity for connection, and that sense of family.

Obviously a terrific match for both parties is essential for things to work, but there are so many potentially delightful experiences that could be shared.

One PhD Vietnamese student in Sydney found himself learning to cook his host’s type of food, and he in turn, showed her how to make Vietnamese food. The pair loved classical music, so that too became something they did together. He also took her shopping in her car.

Not everything will go swimmingly. Accidents can happen, whether you live with someone or alone. But the younger generation is schooled in what to do in the case of an emergency.

Given the infancy of these initiatives, it’s amazing to learn how well they have worked out so far. One would expect some teething problems, but with the right mindset from all parties, this would seem to be a clever way of making older people happier and who knows, more confident.

Is it worth considering?

Perhaps you know of people who might be receptive to this idea, in which case, you can use one of the links in this article to pursue/investigate the idea.

If in reading this, you have other concerns, or ideas to share, please feel free to share them here, and I will include them in this article.