Could Not Knowing Be Better for You?

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2016

Abstract

ng a pause before we leap into showing off everything (we think) we know.</p><p id="c552">In Buddhism, they talk about the benefits of having a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoshin"><i>beginner’s mind</i></a>. It’s a state of mind that can help us see the same things in a different way as if we are seeing them for the very first time. A way of approaching things with our mind open, like an empty glass with plenty of space to be filled by new possibilities. Imagine a mind free of preconceptions and judgments.</p><p id="e8c7">As if our mind was like a little kid full of wonder with a boatload of questions. <i>What does this do? How is this like that? Why?</i></p><p id="0f99">I enjoy experimenting on my own mind with self-inquiry so I asked myself if I could do away with my, <i>I’ve already done that and I already know that</i> approach for a while, to see what happens. Besides, there are a lot of things I’ve already done that I do again and again, on purpose. I listen to my favorite song more than once. (Donovan’s, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cGWTAe3M6U"><i>Happiness Runs</i></a> ) Watch my favorite movie over and over again (<i>Harold and Maude</i>) And what about love? I mean, think about it, you may have known love before but you haven’t known it with this new person that you’re now with. How can you give them, and yourself, a fighting chance if you think you already <i>know</i> how the entire story will turn out?</p><h2 id="fb2e">So, in the spirit of not-knowing, I recently signed up for an eight-week course, the MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stressed Reduction) that I had already completed just a month earlier.</h2><p id="8c5f">It’s not as if I failed the first time around or that I didn’t pay attention. I simply chose to do it all again with a beginner’s mind. No big whoop, right? Not right. Whenever the teacher began to teach me something I had recently learned I felt my knowing ego-mind get restless. I could feel my forehead tightening and a bored agitation f

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orming.</p><p id="3620"><i>Ugh, I already know this stuff!</i> I could feel myself getting wrapped up in the story of <i>why did I sign up for this? I could be doing so many other things with this time! I could be learning something new! I could… I should…</i>…</p><p id="8ace">But I soon recognized my spinning mind and took a slow, deep breath and gently told myself, <i>Shhh, not now. I’m listening.</i> I had to keep doing this until finally the agitation lessened and then the coolest thing happened. Even though this teacher was speaking the same words that I had heard before, I was hearing them differently. Turns out, with my new, wide-eyed eager to learn approach in this unique moment, I was able to take in different information.</p><p id="94b4">My capacity to learn felt like it was expanding inside of me. Like that empty glass, I made space for newness. The act of making that space available within myself felt like wisdom at work and I had no intention of interfering with that.</p><h2 id="cdc5">I Tried This</h2><p id="c433">I put my alleged expertise on hold when talking to someone. When a friend tells me about their pain, I tried just listening patiently instead of waiting for a break so I could jump in and compare my pain to theirs. This is no easy task since, like many of us, I want to shell out my own life sample snippets in an attempt to advise, wanting to be helpful. Sometimes it is, but other times, what might do the trick in a deeper way, could be to simply listen.</p><h2 id="660a">It’s entirely possible that…</h2><h2 id="4cc4">⭕ The thing you thought you knew, felt true at the time, but no longer fits. ⭕Releasing the need to have all the answers right now can be a relief. ⭕And maybe knowing that you don’t know is the best knowing of all.</h2><p id="ebfe">But, then again, you probably already knew that.</p><p id="5e8f"><i>Originally published at <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/to-know-or-not-to-know_b_9523634">https://www.huffpost.com</a></i></p></article></body>

To know or not to know, that is the question

artwork by Annie Wood

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few. ― Shunryu Suzuki

I used to think I knew stuff. All sorts of stuff. So much so that as soon as someone attempted to tell me something I would cut them off with a quick, Yeah, I know that! Then I’d launch into a me-centered story proving my vast knowledge of the subject at hand. I did this sort of thing enough times to recognize when it’s being done to me.

Just the other day I was excited to explain something I had recently learned and a friend of mine cut me off mid-sentence with that familiar, Yeah, I know that. But the thing is, I didn’t even complete the thought. So what he thought he knew, I have no idea, because it hadn’t been shared yet. Not only did he declare to know all about it, he also knew what it was before I even spoke of it.

Before a flood of immediate annoyance washed over me, I took a deep breath and looked at my friend. I recognized myself in him. I often thought I knew what I didn’t know and I was eager to tell anyone with ears, all about the thing I think I knew.

I mean, obvi I know some stuff.

We all know a certain amount of things and some of us even become experts on certain topics. The desire to know is a worthy goal. With our knowledge, we can do many things. We can get things done efficiently, build bridges, learn a skill, and help others. But, there’s a high probability, that for the most part, we are not all know-it-alls.

We are, at best, know-it-somes. And there’s something to be said for taking a pause before we leap into showing off everything (we think) we know.

In Buddhism, they talk about the benefits of having a beginner’s mind. It’s a state of mind that can help us see the same things in a different way as if we are seeing them for the very first time. A way of approaching things with our mind open, like an empty glass with plenty of space to be filled by new possibilities. Imagine a mind free of preconceptions and judgments.

As if our mind was like a little kid full of wonder with a boatload of questions. What does this do? How is this like that? Why?

I enjoy experimenting on my own mind with self-inquiry so I asked myself if I could do away with my, I’ve already done that and I already know that approach for a while, to see what happens. Besides, there are a lot of things I’ve already done that I do again and again, on purpose. I listen to my favorite song more than once. (Donovan’s, Happiness Runs ) Watch my favorite movie over and over again (Harold and Maude) And what about love? I mean, think about it, you may have known love before but you haven’t known it with this new person that you’re now with. How can you give them, and yourself, a fighting chance if you think you already know how the entire story will turn out?

So, in the spirit of not-knowing, I recently signed up for an eight-week course, the MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stressed Reduction) that I had already completed just a month earlier.

It’s not as if I failed the first time around or that I didn’t pay attention. I simply chose to do it all again with a beginner’s mind. No big whoop, right? Not right. Whenever the teacher began to teach me something I had recently learned I felt my knowing ego-mind get restless. I could feel my forehead tightening and a bored agitation forming.

Ugh, I already know this stuff! I could feel myself getting wrapped up in the story of why did I sign up for this? I could be doing so many other things with this time! I could be learning something new! I could… I should……

But I soon recognized my spinning mind and took a slow, deep breath and gently told myself, Shhh, not now. I’m listening. I had to keep doing this until finally the agitation lessened and then the coolest thing happened. Even though this teacher was speaking the same words that I had heard before, I was hearing them differently. Turns out, with my new, wide-eyed eager to learn approach in this unique moment, I was able to take in different information.

My capacity to learn felt like it was expanding inside of me. Like that empty glass, I made space for newness. The act of making that space available within myself felt like wisdom at work and I had no intention of interfering with that.

I Tried This

I put my alleged expertise on hold when talking to someone. When a friend tells me about their pain, I tried just listening patiently instead of waiting for a break so I could jump in and compare my pain to theirs. This is no easy task since, like many of us, I want to shell out my own life sample snippets in an attempt to advise, wanting to be helpful. Sometimes it is, but other times, what might do the trick in a deeper way, could be to simply listen.