Contempt
It’s not politics…It’s sickness.
We’ve got a problem
And that problem is us.
It’s not liberals and conservatives.
It’s not Democrats and Republicans (though each are not always great).
It’s not that simple.
If that were all it was, we could fix that by voting Libertarian.
But the problem is much more personal than our political affiliation.
Our problem is not one of political polarization.
The problem is…
Contempt.
Contempt is America’s predominant tone.
It is difficult to spend even a few minutes on social media without being inundated with the volume, bitterness, and tangible loathing of so many Americans for so many other Americans.
Short-form communication encourages short-form consideration.
“I can’t believe how stupid…”
“If you had a brain (or a heart)…”
“Everyone who supports Democrats is a murderer!”
“Everyone who supports Republicans is a racist!”
“Everyone who supports <the other> is a <insert favorite pejorative>.”
Only those who agree with me are patriots!
Only those on my side are good…
To encourage this, modern media algorithms send a steady barrage of reinforcement, telling us each day how good and smart we are because we already agree with or condemn the latest events.
As we hit ‘Like’ we tell the algorithm to tell us how right we are next time.
This problem is exacerbated by volume upon volume of false and misleading news, memes, and articles passed around on social media like the latest drug.
And there is no ceiling to the ridiculous claims which are accepted with holy fervor these days so long as they villainize that ‘other.’
Would you like to write an article about the Biden alliance with Osama Bin Laden? Or Trump’s secret army of snake people?
Go ahead! With a snazzy website, you too can achieve the credibility of some of America’s most viral “news” reporting.
All you need is a snappy headline.
Those who agree with your ‘group’ thinking will share it.
Those who disagree will respond with vitriol.
Either way, it’s attention!
We live in an attention economy, so encouraging that sort of attention must be good for the economy!
And we’re all too busy to really read and consider it anyway. (As evidenced by the frequency of people on my own social media who post from satire-based sites because the headline agrees with their own pre-conceived notion).
A Quick Alibi
This is not my own contempt for those who fall into the trap. This is a cultural condemnation.
I struggle with this on a daily basis, often forcing myself to avoid social media, divert conversations, and avoid engaging because the temptation is so strong.
I am tempted every day to disparage those who disagree with me. More and more, as I’ve struggled with it, the temptation to respond with contempt is muted and has been replaced with an enormous sadness for the nation I fought for and buried friends to support.
I watch as people who I love and respect, who may not know my opinion on a matter, disparage my humanity in their glib and insulting approach.
It’s not so much that it hurts my feelings, but that it makes me hesitant regarding the inherent structural goodness of those I care about. That’s not good for any of us.
The Impact
The results of this contempt ripple across our society at every level.
And these ripples distort individual perspectives and degrade relationships/communities.
Distortion
The first impact is very simple, we are increasingly framed into camps of recursive perspective. Our positions and beliefs are reinforced so frequently and so narrowly that we become increasingly recalcitrant to reconsider, even if our beliefs are objectively unlikely or unreasonable. Or even as they become increasingly unlikely or unreasonable.
This slow movement of drawing boundaries around ‘our thinking’ and ‘their thinking’ frames what is acceptable bit by bit so that we progressively accept even the unreasonable on our side and disparage even the sensible on the other.
And as we do so, we become increasingly convinced, locked into an unwavering surety.
This is a form of philosophical dualism and psychological propaganda.
It is the black and white of hero and villain.
It is the turning of neighbor against neighbor.
It is the ‘cleansing’ of a nation….
It is the thinking that historically allows for the most totalitarian and inhumane revolutions.
And if you think of this and immediately assume I am referring to either side, that is the problem. Both sides are moving toward totalitarianism right now and blaming the other for it.
Degredation
Social media and news reports are littered with stories of soured relationships as a result of politics, news, and the state of the world.
Friends are blocked or removed.
Family rifts form.
People stop talking to each other in real life as a result of online engagements.
Contempt, formed through online engagement with social media and news, has expanded into our everyday lives, undermining real, concrete relationships.
Your neighbors may be great and caring neighbors, but they Tweet Republican garbage!
Your co-worker may be industrious and diligent, but his Facebook page makes him a Socialist Libtard!
Each case obviously illustrates our own superior knowledge and principle.
What To Do
First, take a deep breath and remember that surety and ignorance are often intertwined.
Recently, my grandfather sent me an article:
“In an interesting university study, people were asked to pick out Ukraine on a map… and whether they approved of military intervention in that country. Curiously, the further off they were on the geography (the average guess was 1,800 miles off), the more they favored forceful intervention. In public affairs, ignorance and confidence vary inversely.” -Bill Bonner, Editor, Bill Bonner’s Diary
(So common today that it has its own name, the Dunning-Krueger effect).
Recognizing this doesn’t make someone stupid, it makes us aware of what we do and do not know. It helps us to demarcate between what we actually touch and experience with what we are told.
In this modern information age, we are told many, many things. Honestly, we are inundated with information and told we need to be certain. Why? To use the above example, most Americans have no military experience, haven’t studied foreign policy, and they haven’t spent a dozen years contemplating the complex cause and effects across considerations of social, economic, military, and political spheres. So why should the average American be so sure about military intervention in a foreign country?
We can have thoughts, opinions, concerns, or questions, but paring down complex and nuanced ideas into ignorant surety is not useful to us as individuals, or to our nation.
Remember too that you probably love someone so often disparaged by your side — an old friend, a cousin, even a parent or spouse.
Arthur Brooks, a former president for a conservative think-tank, grew up in Seattle and his parents are rather liberal. In a long-form discussion with Simon Sinek, he recalls speaking at a conservative function with a host of Republican candidates, one of whom asserted that “I think they [liberals] are stupid and evil.” The speaker received a round of applause.
Then, he says, “I realized that that lady was insulting my mom and I took it personally.”
“The mark of moral courage is not standing against those with which you disagree…Moral courage comes from standing against those with whom you agree, on behalf of those with whom disagree.” — Arthur Brooks, quoting his father
Don’t stand for it. Even if you agree with it.
There is a person behind the contempt spouting from too many keyboards and too many mouths today. That person is important and special.
You may think the person is wrong, but how you engage to resolve that reflects more about you than about them.
An example which hit me hard many years ago, during a time when my own contempt was particularly sharp: West Wing — Ainsley Hayes responds to the contempt her Republican confreres feel toward a Democratic Bartlett administration with which she has just been offered a job.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=west+wing+and+i%27m+their+lawyer
This is not a call for a sort of vague tolerance or politeness (I think that’s how we ended up in this troubling time).
It is not an acceptance of a moral relativism in which there is no definite right or wrong.
Many of the topics most prone to contemptuous responses are important and should be engaged, discussed, and debated.
They revolve around important moral, political, and economic questions of incredible complexity and impact with very real, and human, consequence.
But our current form of engagement is not helping us explore these issues.
These bits and bites of murdered nuance, justified ignorance, poisonous patriotism, and personal, unconsidered certainty, are dangerous.
They are instead, creating greater and greater boundaries to progress.
Contempt is not about progress, it’s about power.
“Nobody in history has ever been insulted into agreement.” — Arthur Brooks
This is about recognizing that we cannot use wrong to be right.
The common and timeless experiences of love, family, joy, disappointment, struggle, challenge, opportunity, fear, achievement, and hope are much more powerful than the particulars of policy or politics.
The common heart of humanity resonates and reinforces within us the value of the other.
“There is more that unites us than divides us. So make it a point to talk with someone who is different from you. You may find that you have more in common than you think.”
― Johnny Corn
I highly recommend spending some time on this YouTube video in which Simon Sinek and Arthur Brooks (whom I quote above) engage a long-form discussion around Brooks’ book “Love Your Enemies.”