Connecting with My Inner Voice

Summary

The narrative depicts an internal dialogue between two aspects of a person's identity, one masculine and one feminine, debating control over their shared life, with the feminine aspect advocating for a more prominent role in their expression and daily activities.

Abstract

In a deeply introspective conversation, a person grapples with the duality of their inner voice, which is personified as a feminine presence seeking to take the wheel in navigating their life. This internal struggle highlights the masculine side's resistance to change, rooted in societal norms and personal comfort zones, while the feminine side argues for the need to embrace a more balanced and emotionally expressive existence. The dialogue touches on themes of identity, transformation, and the desire for a more authentic and fulfilling life, with the feminine side pleading for the opportunity to infuse their shared existence with more vibrancy, emotion, and genuine connection to the world.

Opinions

The masculine side is skeptical and resistant to the idea of the feminine side taking control, viewing it as a disruption of their established life.
The feminine side believes that embracing her qualities will lead to a more meaningful and joyful life for both of them.
There is a recognition by the masculine side that the feminine aspect has contributed positively to their social life and emotional experiences.
The feminine side feels suppressed and yearns for full expression, criticizing the current state of their fashion and emotional life as monotonous and uninspired.
The masculine side is concerned about societal expectations and the potential for ridicule if they were to express themselves in a more feminine manner.
The feminine side promises to take things slowly and assures the masculine side that they will still be needed to maintain stability in their life.
The feminine side sees the potential for personal growth and healing through embracing a more balanced identity, including rediscovering the ability to cry and express a fuller range of emotions.
The masculine side, despite reservations, agrees to allow the feminine side to have more influence, indicating a willingness to explore this aspect of their identity, albeit cautiously.

Connecting with My Inner Voice

Hey ... I know it’s the middle of the night… but can we talk?

(groggly), yeah, I guess…

I was wondering…

Yes….?

Could I drive?

Drive what?

You know, drive US – our body. Me in control – for once!

Be quiet … I’m getting sick of listening to you!

That’s no way to talk to a lady…

You’re not a lady – you’re just a voice!

Well that may be true, but you’re nothing more than a voice either – just LOUDER. Typical man – you never let me get a word in edgewise.

Well, forgive me, but we just happen to be part of a MAN!

And why is that exactly? I didn’t remember having any say…

Don’t know – just the way it is.

Well, I’m not going anywhere. Nothing you can do about that.

Tell me about it…

I want to drive … I need to drive…. It’s the best for US.

We’re doing pretty well already, thank you very much.

Really?

Yeah, growing up, college, job, family. Think we have everything checked off…

So what’s with this malaise we’re in right now? For the last several years?

Eh, just your typical mid-life crisis, I guess.

Mid-life crisis? We’re not thinking about buying a sportscar or a boat or getting a new wife, are we?

Well, no…

Yeah, instead we’re yearning for something missing, some “nebulous” meaning…

So?

Doesn’t sound like a typical mid-life crisis… it sounds like … like I should take control.

I… don’t think so.

Why not? We’ve been “discussing” this off-and-on for years. And given how addicted you are to reading other people’s stories…

People’s stories?

Yeah, men who have fully embraced their feminine side. Men who didn’t realize what they were missing until they stumbled upon it. Transformed them for the better…

Yeah, about that…

You have always loved my emotion, compassion, creativity, and charisma – right? I mean, without that, we still wouldn’t have good friends or have even gotten laid…

That might … be true. But that only proves this arrangement is working…

I’m sick of this part-time shit. You need to embrace me fully and let me drive!!

Easy there – calm down.

I’ve gotten more vocal in the last few months – and we’ve been much happier, right? dancing even!

Dancing?

Yeah, last night. That was all you bud…

Dancing? That wasn’t dancing! We were exercising!

Exercise? We always work out on a treadmill or with those weight machines. But last night we were twirling and sidestepping and jumping – to music. I think that’s called dancing.

Pretty loose definition of dancing. If anyone saw us they would call it a seizure.

Regardless, it was fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And why are we working out so much these days? You’ve gotten us in better shape than we ever have been. Why are you so nuts about this now?

Intended to serve as a distraction – something to DROWN YOU OUT!

Drown me out? Little ole me? Don’t think so… we went from chubby to lean - those thighs are rock, that gut is mostly gone and that butt... you want us to look good…

So what if I want us to look good?

You want us to … try on that green dress! – like we saw Marie wearing the other day. Paired with that pearl necklace and a nice shoulder-length hazelnut wig with those cute pumps…

What? You’re nuts.

Really? With our gut gone, it’ll fit much better. Although we don’t have the bust or the curves…

Yeah, right.

Oh, c’mon – I’ve spent so long making our fashion choices, which vary from drab to dull to blech. Earth tones with an occasional splash of dark red or dark green. Shirt, pants, and oooh, the lone creative choice- a tie. Screw that. Give me some vibrant colors, give me different types of fabrics, and get rid of these damn button down shirts and let’s get some cool skirts and blouses! Let me drive – please!?!

Eh, no. Too weird. I thought we went through that phase in college.

You kidding me? You never let me get started! One dress that was torn, that awful gold chain, Halloween makeup, and that bra that I just couldn’t do anything with…

It was a disaster.

It’ll be better this time. It may take awhile, but I’ll get a handle on it. You’ll feel so much better. Promise…

Well...

And we can have emotion again. Think of it - actual EMOTION – genuine laughter, genuine crying, giddiness even!

We have plenty of “emotion”.

We haven’t had emotion since puberty. All this manly shit and these layers. And tears? Yeah right – those pipelines dried up decades ago. We have stockpiles of baggage hidden away somewhere that could just spontaneously combust…

Well…

And we could ditch this manly BS and be kinder and nicer to people…

Aren’t we nice already?

Please, please, please!

For how long?

Well, we’ll see how things go. It will take some getting used to… and I still need you to help me keep our life stable…

I don’t know – I just don’t think we can pull it off…

C’mon, life is more than half over – you can at least give me a solid chance at this… it’s been tough to be cooped up like this… It’s taken this long for me to be loud like this – for you to listen to me… this is OUR time!

So, if I let you drive, what would you do? Turn us into a woman?

And would that be so wrong? I can’t help but see how taken you are with that very idea lately…

Well, hold on there…

Ok, ok. I promise I won’t turn us into a woman – unless you really want us to.

I’m thinking not.

That’s okay –we’ll go really slow – I’ll start by livening things up – a little more expression, more compassion, more emotion, more energy – perhaps even figure out this crying problem.

That crying thing again – what’s up with that?

Just want to crack this shell open. Let some light from the world in – and some of my light out. And find a few nice outfits along the way…

(deep breath) Okay… you can have the keys-- for now. Can I go back to sleep now?

Abbssoluutely…sweet dreams!