Connecting on this Holiday

I am breaking my own rule, but since I made it, here I go. I told everyone about the break I was taking to focus on family and friends, but today, I have to urge to connect with you, to wish you peace, happiness, and hope for our world.

My travels have been calm, my mask protecting me. My visits have been nurturing, my family and friends sharing their love.

But I missed you, and today, I know why.

I just listened to No Small Endeavor on NPR. It was my first time, and since the episode I listened to is the Best of NSE, it’s great. It’s the 12/31/23 episode. Some highlights:

• Amy Grant shared a coping tool she learned from Sheryl Crow. To paraphrase: When you find yourself in autopilot, or going down a rabbit hole, wiggle your toes.” (A dental assistant told me to do that to stop gagging during x-rays, but I never thought to apply it to Christmas dinner!) By wiggling your toes, you stay present. You can’t wiggle your toes and follow the panic about things not going like you want. You can’t wiggle your toes and be terrified when you’re holding a mike, standing at a podium. How easy to choose toe wiggling instead of dread! (For NM locals, did you know Amy Grant is coming to Popejoy, February 2024?)
• Heather Hollerman offers assistance to all of us who become speechless in new groups, in large groups, in family gatherings where we know what we DON’T want to talk about but wonder what we can talk about. It’s about how to help our grandkids hold conversations in person rather than on social media. From her “Six Conversations” website: “If you desire deeper relationships with your spouse, dating partner, children, friends, in-laws, grandchildren, coworkers, clients, students, people in your neighborhood — or all the above — then read this book and grow in the art of The Six Conversations!” (Last week I was with a group of twenty people, seated between and across from total strangers. It went fine, but I think I would have been more relaxed if I’d had checked out Hollerman’s website first. I could have asked questions like “What’s your favorite way to procrastinate?” or “What is one item you’re going to keep forever?”) We all know what NOT to talk about at family gatherings, but now Hollerman gives us ideas of how to be curious about with strangers and loved ones.

Here’s the link to the podcast.

Best gift to myself this Christmas Eve, best gift to all of you this holiday season.

May you have peace, curiosity, comfort with all of your conversations.

Yes, I am going to use Hollerman’s advice in my Palliative Care work these next weeks, and yes, you’ll hear all about it when I return mid January.

Back to my break, to wrapping gifts, cooking tamales, and thinking of what to ask every person I meet!

May peace blanket you, everyone you know, our communities, our world. Especially the Middle East and Ukraine. They need our prayers.