Conflict of Interest

Do we honor the wishes of the living or the dead?

This afternoon, there was a graveside service for my former mother-in-law, who died last week at age 99.

Dora outlived her sons, Russell and Doug (by 24 and 11 years, respectively). Her daughters, Debbie and Dru, arranged for the service.

The minister began by acknowledging that Dora had requested that there be no service. He said that he’d come at the behest of Debbie and Dru.

Ironic, that a woman without religion birthed a pair of girls who saw fit to be born again. Be that as it may, were Debbie and Dru within their rights to circumvent their mother’s wishes?

As the minister spoke, I pondered on the question. As he commenced to pray, I glanced at Debbie and Dru, heads bent, mouthing the words. It was clear that these were words they knew by heart, a heart thereby soothed by their whispered consolation.

Had Dora been there, I believe she’d have taken comfort in the comfort taken by her daughters.