How To Get Your Compulsions Sorted Out

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Abstract

e always been impulsive. I blurt things out, I jump before I look and I obsess about things in a way that consumes all of my headspace. If I want something then I really want it. I find it hard to think of anything else.Imagine spending the whole day traipsing around mall after mall looking for the perfect pair of dress shoes for your event that evening and getting inflamed when you cannot find what you are looking for?Curbing my impulses is part of my unique set of challenges and handicaps that form part of my greater life purpose.To overcome my limitations and expand myself as much as possible with the resources I have.All change begins with acceptance. I must accept my impulsivity before I can understand it and integrate a solution. If I fight it with white-knuckled discipline then I will always lose. The impulse is too overwhelming.So why do I do it? The answer is fear. Somewhere deep down in my psyche, there is a part of me that doesn’t trust my needs will be met by anyone or anything and if I have a chance to have a good thing I am going to take it and take it right now.For it may not ever come round again.This is clearly

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faulty thinking and it does not serve me. Nor is it true. I am an adult and I have reams of data and proof that I do take care of my needs and that I am a fully competent adult.I have learnt to recognise that my impulsivity is a cry for help from a part of me that needs a lot of care and attention.So now, when the impulse hits me, I find a place to be quiet, I sit with myself and I ask myself what do I really want? The answer is usually some attention and slow deep breathing.The truth about getting worked up into any state of mind, negative or positive is that it always passes. When I write down what it is I want to buy at that moment and I relax and listen to what I really want, the urge to buy that thing usually goes.When I look back at it a couple of days later I usually have absolutely no interest in the item and am glad I didn’t buy it.This seems to work for me most of the time. We are very complex creatures and there is probably no permanent fix for inherent trauma responses that come up from time to time.The key is to learn to manage things the best way we can and roll with it.I guess the keyword here is acceptance.</article></body>

I just couldn’t help myself until I did

I have a new rule for any purchase. If I really want something I write it down and wait 48 hours before I buy it. I cannot tell you how many impulse purchases this has avoided and thousands of dollars saved.

You see I am a junkie, the kind that buys all sorts of shit online. Amazon, eBay, Farfetch, you name it. I see someone wearing a pair of shorts that I like and I’m searching for them straight away. Jackets, trainers, watches — don’t get me started on watches- and books. Tonnes of books. Every book I buy goes straight to the back of a very long queue. More than I will ever read.

Some purchases I love, some I think what the fuck did I just do as soon as I press buy. I send stuff back, I even have to resell things I’ve bought on eBay at a loss.

I’ve always been impulsive. I blurt things out, I jump before I look and I obsess about things in a way that consumes all of my headspace. If I want something then I really want it. I find it hard to think of anything else.

Imagine spending the whole day traipsing around mall after mall looking for the perfect pair of dress shoes for your event that evening and getting inflamed when you cannot find what you are looking for?

Curbing my impulses is part of my unique set of challenges and handicaps that form part of my greater life purpose.

To overcome my limitations and expand myself as much as possible with the resources I have.

All change begins with acceptance. I must accept my impulsivity before I can understand it and integrate a solution. If I fight it with white-knuckled discipline then I will always lose. The impulse is too overwhelming.

So why do I do it? The answer is fear. Somewhere deep down in my psyche, there is a part of me that doesn’t trust my needs will be met by anyone or anything and if I have a chance to have a good thing I am going to take it and take it right now.

For it may not ever come round again.

This is clearly faulty thinking and it does not serve me. Nor is it true. I am an adult and I have reams of data and proof that I do take care of my needs and that I am a fully competent adult.

I have learnt to recognise that my impulsivity is a cry for help from a part of me that needs a lot of care and attention.

So now, when the impulse hits me, I find a place to be quiet, I sit with myself and I ask myself what do I really want? The answer is usually some attention and slow deep breathing.

The truth about getting worked up into any state of mind, negative or positive is that it always passes. When I write down what it is I want to buy at that moment and I relax and listen to what I really want, the urge to buy that thing usually goes.

When I look back at it a couple of days later I usually have absolutely no interest in the item and am glad I didn’t buy it.

This seems to work for me most of the time. We are very complex creatures and there is probably no permanent fix for inherent trauma responses that come up from time to time.

The key is to learn to manage things the best way we can and roll with it.

I guess the keyword here is acceptance.