Summary

An influencer shares their journey through the highs and lows of Instagram, from success and creative fulfillment to shadow bans and existential crises, ultimately finding alignment in content creation for soul-aligned clients.

Abstract

The article details the personal experiences of an influencer who has navigated the tumultuous landscape of Instagram influence. Initially riding a wave of success with luxe marketing retreats and significant daily leads, their world was shaken by the pandemic's impact on travel-related content. A shift towards activism and personal expression led to a decline in engagement and visibility on the platform, causing frustration and a sense of being stifled. Despite these challenges, the influencer persisted, using Instagram as a creative outlet and journal, which unexpectedly attracted clients aligned with their values. This shift has allowed them to support friends in their missions, focusing on content creation and asset development, which has proven to be more fulfilling and impactful than previous endeavors.

Opinions

The influencer expresses a love-hate relationship with Instagram, feeling both validated by high view counts and frustrated by shadow bans and reduced reach.
They admit to feeling like a fraud at times, especially when their content strategy shifted away from what their audience initially engaged with.
The influencer has a critical view of their own activism phase, recognizing that it may not have been the most effective way to enact change.
They have a defiant attitude towards maintaining authentic expression, even if it means losing followers or facing platform restrictions.
The influencer values creative freedom and self-expression over chasing numbers on social media, viewing their account more as a personal journal.
They have come to appreciate the importance of self-care and financial stability in order to make a significant impact in the world.
The influencer believes that by supporting other world-changing missions through their creative talents, they are contributing positively without the pressure of doing it all alone.

Confessions Of An Influencer

I‘ve wanted to quit Instagram so many times

Last night I had the house to myself. I had intended to do some client work. Instead, I found myself dressed in a gold sequin jacket, sparkly captain’s hat, and prancing around creating reels. This is pretty standard for me. Creative inspiration can hit at any moment and I like to act while it’s alive.

This morning I woke up to 10k views on that reel in less than 24 hours. After being shadow banned and censored for what feels like an eternity, I can’t even explain how good this feels, but I tried…

I’ll admit it, there’s been many moments where I’ve felt like such a fraud.

A few years ago, I cracked the Instagram code. I grew a following, had a super-engaged audience, and was getting 30–100 new email leads a day.

I was travelling the world selling luxe marketing retreats as an affiliate. Scoring free products and travel deals. And often waking up to $10k sale days without even lifting a finger.

When the world closed down and I could no longer use travel as my selling point, I kind of lost my way.

Instead of pivoting and focusing on new business goals, I started falling down rabbit holes.

I became a struggling activist. Hating on the world.

Thinking everyone was out to get us.

The truth-seeker pushing information out. How could I focus on business when the world was a mess?

But the world has always been that way, and we don’t need more poor influencers trying to guilt everyone into action.

Yeah, we want to see change in the world, but I’ve come to realise acting from that space isn’t the way to do it.

So I stopped focusing on the world and started looking at myself. I turned to this platform as a creative outlet instead.

Pouring my heart into art. But by that point, my account had already taken a huge hit. I got reprimanded by big daddy IG more times than I can count.

My followers didn’t like the new me… and my response was fuck them. Kinda still is, cos I’m gonna keep changing and growing and if you can’t handle the new versions that emerge then you may as well leave.

I’m not gonna sugarcoat or suppress my expression for anyone.

But as much as I tried to convince myself the numbers don’t count. It still cut.

To see my reach go from tens of thousands to crickets was kind of hard to swallow. Not gonna lie, this morning when I woke up to two of my reels hitting a higher reach, I almost cried.

I’ve felt so much anger and resentment towards this platform in recent months. Why won’t they just put me in front of people?!

It’s so disheartening to pour your heart into a platform and constantly be met with barriers.

I kept showing up though because, above anything, this is an outlet for me to express myself. It’s more like a journal and I love being able to look back at my journey and see how far I’ve come.

And somehow, through all of this, I started attracting the most soul-aligned clients.

Not in the way I thought it would look. I thought I had to coach people. I thought I had to sell out programs and courses. But it never felt super alive for me.

Turns out people started asking me to create content for them. And now I basically only work with friends and get to support them in their world-changing missions.

I spend my days designing graphics, creating assets for product launches, filming spicy content, and having lots of fun while I’m at it.

I realised I don’t have to try and change the world on my own. I get to stand behind humans I love and spread their messages to the people who need them most.

I get to channel my creativity and passion into people with the resources to make a difference.

And I get to BE MYSELF while I’m at it.

Some days I still have my doubts and insecurities. I need to be reminded I’m good at what I do. Validate me with your words of affirmation, please.

But for the most part, I know I’m doing exactly what I always wanted to be doing and that feels incredible.

They’re helping me to rewrite my own stories around money and spirituality.

Realising that when we are well paid and well resourced we are actually capable of making so much more difference in the world.

It’s not wrong to want to look after yourself first, actually, it’s imperative if you truly want to have the influence and impact you desire to see in the world.